


In Paradise

by Aelia1980



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Angst, M/M, Supernatural Elements, business economist Jensen, mention of bearding and homophobia, tailor Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28959225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelia1980/pseuds/Aelia1980
Summary: Green eyes. Freckles. Long lashes. Simply Handsome. Jared has been dreaming about this guy since he has been a kid. When his dreamboat finally sails into Jared’s tailor shop, Jared’s dreams are coming true and crashing down at the same time - because the man is getting married! At first, there seems no way out. But as Jared slowly gets to know the real Jensen, he notices that he carries around a secret and that not everything is like it seems to be. Can he help Jensen to confide in him? And can Jared get what he dreamed of for years?
Relationships: Jared Padalecki/Original Male Character(s), Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 15
Kudos: 60





	In Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t know Jared, Jensen or anyone else mentioned in this story. This is a work of fiction, written for “entertainment” and certainly not to hurt mentioned characters. I just borrowed their names, a bit of their background and invented so much more. Nothing mentioned in this fiction ever happened.
> 
> A/N: This is one of the few au fics I wrote, originally posted on LJ what seems a life time ago. Enjoy!

**Prologue**

Peculiar. That’s how most of his friends described Jared Padalecki. He wasn’t strange in the way that he sacrificed cats to Satan in the middle of the night, or that he lead a shady double life on the internet, or that he was extreme in every imaginable way, but compared to his buddies, he just wasn’t “normal”, and in their opinion, that was reason enough to call Jared peculiar.

First and foremost, Jared was gay; a pear between all those apples within his big circle of friends.

He had come out of the closet at the young age of 15, splitting up with his first girlfriend, and from one day to the next, totally unexpected for everyone, he was claiming to be gay without ever having received a hand job by another guy, let alone having kissed one. For a long time, Jared had refused to tell why he had “changed his mind”, as his parents called it. When his parents and his best buddy, Chad, who just loved boobs and pussy and couldn’t possibly understand Jared’s decision at all, couldn’t let go of that particular subject, Jared had come up with the most unbelievable story ever, another reason why his friends considered him odd.

He had claimed to be having dreams about a guy, not only recently, but over the past few years. A boy, maybe a few years older than him, popping in and out of very random dreams. This boy would be sitting with him in a class at school one day, crossing his path on the beach or going to the same movie the next. Jared didn’t know his name, but he could describe him perfectly. After a while, he had even started to draw pictures, one of the many talents Jared possessed; he was a good artist. The stranger was uncommonly handsome, with full, sensual lips, long lashes, the most stunningly green eyes, and a beautiful smile that etched tiny wrinkles around his eyes. What had “turned Jared gay”, though, hadn’t been those random dreams, but a series of very intimate ones, where he and the nameless boy had not only made out but had made love, leaving Jared more aroused and satisfied than his right hand ever could. That had brought Jared to the conclusion that this stranger was “the one” for him, and it didn’t matter that he was of the same sex.

Therefore, Jared had split up with Katie and had started looking for the man of his dreams. He looked everywhere - around San Antonio, in shopping centers, bars, clubs, the cinema, on vacations and short trips with Chad, and even on the internet, surfing one gay site after the next. Until now, though, Jared’s efforts remained fruitless. At first, he had even refused to date other guys, but after a year or two, he had changed his mind, because, if Chad was right about something, it was that no young, healthy Texan boy could do without getting laid for longer than a few weeks. Jared’s partners were always random hookups - faceless and nameless guys, good fucks but nothing else - because his heart belonged to the man he still dreamed about regularly.

Uncommon was also Jared’s stubbornness regarding that very subject. No matter how often he failed to find him, no matter how many years had passed without a sight of the stranger, Jared refused to believe that the man didn’t exist somewhere. With a determination no one believed to be possible, Jared kept surfing the web and looking for the guy, not getting disheartened when his attempts had been vain too many times. He just knew that the green- eyed man was out there somewhere, hopefully waiting and looking for Jared, just as desperately as Jared was looking for him.

The other thing that was unusual when it came to Jared Padalecki was his career choice. Leaving high school with top grades, he had only spent his freshman year at college before he decided to be trained as a tailor at his neighborhood’s tailor shop. Everyone had called him nuts, wasting his countless talents, picking a really uncool career that he was sure to fail, but Jared had proved everyone wrong. The clothes he tailored were of perfect quality, and after a while, he had decided to design for people his age, bringing new customers into the tailoring world, making a good deal of money with it. After only a couple of years, he founded his own business – _JTP: Jared’s Tailor Paradise_ .

So, while Jared’s love life was still more or less non-existent, the man of his dreams still not having found his way to Jared, at least everything else was good. Peculiar or not, Jared was popular with his friends, had a loving and supporting family, and his tailoring business boomed more than ever.

**1**

On the cloudy morning in February this story really started, Jared was halfheartedly listening to Chad’s usual rambling on the phone while skimming through his appointments for the day. Luckily, he only had three fittings, which meant that he could go home earlier than usual. While the afternoon would be filled with two of his regular customers, the appointment that was scheduled in less than half an hour was a new customer by the name of C. Kane.

As Chad was drooling on the phone over Ruby’s – or was she called Randy? – agile body and the things she could do with it, which definitely was something that Jared so not wanted to know, he checked whether Martin had prepared everything for his first customer of the day. It was important for Jared to advise his customers in person and in a comfortable atmosphere. The furniture in his bright office was timeless but tasteful, and it conveyed a feeling of warmth and home. There was coffee, water, and tiny delicious cakes on the table, and, most importantly, all of Jared’s sketch books, as well as the basic items he needed to take measurements. His desk was spotlessly clean and empty, apart from the Bonsai his sister had given him for his birthday, his laptop, and some writing necessities. It was quiet; all Jared could hear was the rhythmic sound of the sewing machine next door where Sandy worked on Annie Robinson’s prom dress. As his glance wandered over the room, Jared felt a wave of pride of what he had achieved in his young years, and the smile that made those dimples appear wasn’t charmed up by Chad’s ridiculous story, but by the simple fact that, apart from one tiny thing, life was good.

Jared had lost track of what Chad had been telling him, and he wasn’t disappointed when the door of his tailoring shop opened, the bell affixed to it announcing a customer. Cutting his buddy off with a promise to call him in the evening, Jared said goodbye and left his office. He found himself facing a short, stocky man with hair as long as his own, though not as full and shiny.

“Welcome to Jared’s Tailor Paradise,” Jared welcomed the stranger with a broad smile. “I’m Jared. What can I do for you?”

He reached out his hand and the other man took it, shaking it strongly. “Hi Jared, I’m Christian,” he said, “Kane,” he added after a second. “We have an appointment.”

Smiling at him warmly, Jared let his glance wander over his new customer, not only checking for the man’s measurements, but also for the colors and fabrics that would fit him particularly well.

“Nice to meet you, Christian,” Jared returned. “So, what can I do for you?”

“Actually,” the smaller man started, “it’s not so much me you can do something for, but my best buddy. He’s getting married in the summer and I want him to wear the coolest suit ever. I was told this is the place to get it.”

Jared beamed. “And right you are," Jared agreed proudly. ”I’ve made a good deal of suits for grooms. Is your friend coming today?”

The other man nodded. “Should have been here already."

“No problem,” Jared assured his new customer. “While we’re waiting for your friend, you can have a look at my sketches, or just tell me what you had in mind for the suit. Please, follow me into my office.”

Pointing towards the closed wooden door that lead to his office, Jared lead the way, offering Christian a seat and something to drink as soon as his customer had made himself comfortable.

“So,” Jared began while pouring Chris and himself a cup of delicious smelling coffee, “tell me about your friend and his wedding.”

He listened attentively as Chris told him about the huge wedding his best friend’s fiancee had planned. It sounded like the girl’s parents were rich, and even though it wasn’t his business, Jared couldn’t help but wonder why Chris, as the groom’s best man, was paying for the suit and not the bride’s wealthy parents. Of course, Jared didn’t express his thoughts, he just nodded here and there, and in the end, he asked Chris whether he knew what the wedding dress and the bridesmaid’s dresses were supposed to look like, so that he had an idea where to go for the suit.

While taking notes, Jared missed the bell that announced a customer, and a minute later, he was startled by a knock on the door and Martin opening it, announcing a Mr Ackles who was there to meet his friend Christian Kane.

“Finally.” Jared heard Chris mutter as Jared got up from his seat and told Martin to lead the other man in.

“Jensen Ackles,” the man introduced himself the moment he stepped into the room, reaching out his hand for Jared to shake it. “I’m sorry I’m late. I couldn’t leave work as quickly as I wanted to.”

Jared recognized him the moment he laid his eyes on Jensen. How could he not, having dreamed of that man again and again for over a decade? It hit Jared like a lightning and he let out a gasp, half shocked and terrified, half excited and delighted. From one second to the next, the tall man felt dizzy, his chest somehow getting tighter and tighter from the shock, and his legs, normally so strong and secure from those countless miles he had been running in the past years, were suddenly weak as a new born kitten’s. Jared’s face, slightly tanned even in the winter months, lost all its color, showing a pallor almost matching the soft white in which the walls were painted with.

A part of Jared knew that he had to act normal, had to take hold of Jensen’s hand, shake it, and offer him a seat, but he was too overwhelmed by the turn of events. After all those years, after hours and hours of searching, the man of his dreams suddenly and unexpectedly turned up in his tailoring shop, looking at him with those brilliant green eyes that were even more expressive in real than in his dreams.

Gasping once more, muttering barely audible words of apologies, Jared stumbled out of the door, across the main customer room and into the rest-room. Breathing hard, he slammed the door shut, and after Jared had turned the key, he slowly slid down onto the cold, tiled floor, burying his head in his trembling hands. Jared could feel his heart hammering in his chest and the warmth of his harsh breath moistening his palms, but he hardly noticed it, his mind too preoccupied with those swirling images: The confused face of Christian Kane, Martin’s unsure expression, and Jensen’s slightly self-conscious look. Having approached Jared as a likable and open person, he had received the most unusual reaction from the tailor; his greeting had been ignored, and the hand shake refused. Jared realized he had never behaved more unprofessionally and rudely than right now, his emotions so clearly written on his face, but he just hadn’t been able to control his feelings, meeting the man he had dreamed of, again and again, in the most unusual of circumstances.

Still struggling hard to regain his composure, Jared forced himself to take long, deep breaths. In vain, Jared tried to chase away those jade eyes, that faint skin, those freckles that were scattered over it, and those sensual lips – lips that had kissed Jared again and again, all over his trembling body, in countless arousing dreams. Jensen’s features, already familiar thanks to all those dreams, became even more intimate and clearer in those few heartbeats, and the man’s beauty, as well as the familiarity he felt towards Jensen, overwhelmed Jared.

Slowly, after what were probably only minutes, Jared managed to pull himself out of the shock and excitement of finally meeting his dreamboat, coming back to reality when a fist knocked against the door and his assistant asked Jared if he was alright.

_Was he alright?_ Jared wondered, and while he gave Martin the only appropriate answer, murmuring a “yeah” and something about a “stomach bug”, Jared understood that he was far from alright. He was lost and absolutely screwed. He might have found the man of his dreams, that much was clear, but the man of his dreams hadn’t found him, hadn’t probably even been looking for him, not showing a hint of recognition. Worst of all, Jensen was about to get married.

So no, Jared wasn’t alright. Heaving himself from the cool floor and moving towards the basin, he asked Martin to send Christian and Jensen away, offering his apologies and a new date for the measurement. It was almost as unprofessional as running away, but Jared just couldn’t deal with Jensen right now and the excuse he had given Martin about the stomach bug didn’t feel like an excuse anymore when nausea washed over the young man in strong waves.

What had just happened was so massive and hard to handle; it made him feel dizzy and uncharacteristically weak. The reflection in the mirror showed Jared exactly how he felt; insecure and shattered, like all his hopes and dreams had been blown away the moment Jared realized that he hadn’t been made for the man that had been made for him.

***

Later that afternoon, Jared found himself on a wide, bumpy road in the middle of nowhere. After he had heard his customers leave, and after he had found the tiniest bit of composure in the bathroom, he had left his shop, asking Martin to cancel his two other appointments for the day. With wobbly legs, Jared had fled towards the old Mercedes he had inherited from his grandpa, turned the ignition with shaking hands, and had started driving through the city without any goal, driving until the road had lead him out of town. After a few miles, he stopped his car near an abandoned place by the road.  
  
The clouds that had agglomerated the sky in the early morning hours had been chased away by a mild wind, and the sun was now shining down on Jared, with temperatures uncommonly warm for this time of year. Had it not been for his unsteady state of mind, the young man would have admired the sight, the rough beauty of the country. Instead, all Jared could think of was the man who was a complete stranger, yet still so familiar to him, his voice even sounding just like in his dreams.  
  
What could he do now? What should he do now? Should he simply accept that fate finally had granted him the chance to meet this man, only to realize that Jensen wasn't meant for him, already engaged to a girl, and therefore probably being straight? Or should he fight a war Jared wasn't sure he could win, a war in which he could lose so much? How could he touch Jensen, take his measurements and talk to him knowing that he couldn't have him?  
  
These and countless other questions were running through Jared's troubled mind, burdening him. Only when the wind picked up, howling over the lea, and the once white clouds became darker, and the first, thick raindrops finally fell down, washing away the dust from the car, did Jared make a decision.

This was big, even massive, and the most important thing ever happened to him. He just couldn't let Jensen go without at least trying. Engaged or not, Jared wanted to get to know Jensen in person, wanted to know if the man of his dreams was any different than the real Jensen. He wanted to know if they could have the same, easy and comfortable relationship. Jared wanted to be Jensen's friend. The wedding was scheduled for September - six months, almost 200 days... A lot could happen in that time and Jared was determined to make the most of it, to show Jensen that he had everything a man could wish for, and he just hoped that he would be rewarded for his effort.  
  
Soaked to the bones, the expensive material of his self-designed clothes sticking to his skin, Jared jumped into his car enthusiastically, and drove back to his hometown. Even though he was shivering from cold, even though the wet points of his hair tickled his neck, the young man was in a much better mood than earlier. Having made his decision, he couldn't get back soon enough, realizing that every day was precious in the quest to conquer Jensen's heart.

That night, Jared dreamed about Jensen. He wasn't surprised, had almost expected it when he had laid his weary head to rest, but that night, the dream took Jared's breath away. It was more vivid than ever before – everything crystal clear, colors brilliant, faces pin sharp. Even though nothing happened between him and Jensen, just simple touches and glances, the dream was more intimate than all the dreams he had had about them fucking. When he woke up, his dick was harder than ever before, throbbing painfully.  
  
Hard strokes under a lukewarm shower brought Jared relief. As he closed his eyes to let the water run soothingly over his heated skin, all he saw were emerald eyes and freckles. Jared knew then that he was lost.  
  
**  
  
As soon as Jared arrived in his office, he dialed Kane's number. His voice was deep and still slightly sleepy, drawl more noticeable than the day before but luckily, he didn't seem pissed about the unceremonious goodbye. Without any further questions, the only comment being a “No problem, man'”, Christian accepted Jared's sincere apology and the offer for a new appointment whenever he could spare a few minutes. Kane promised that he would come over in the late evening, bringing Jensen with him. 

Now, all Jared could do was wait.  
  
During the whole day, Jared busied himself with work. There were several appointments and phone calls with customers, the weekly meeting with his assistants, and during every free minute he worked on new drafts. He avoided checking his watch every five minutes, and, suddenly, with Martin and Sandy long gone, the shop bell heralded the arrival of Christian and Jensen.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Jared got up from his comfortable office chair to welcome his customers. His friendly, beaming smile betrayed how the young man was feeling – anxious and excited – but he fought it and buried it deep inside his mind, opening the door to his shop enthusiastically. He didn't even really see Christian, only had eyes for the taller and younger man standing in front of him in a cheap, ill-fitting, slightly wrinkled suit, looking tired and much less zealous than Jared.  
  
“Hey,” Jared greeted both men, “come in”. While he led them into his office, he offered his excuses once more and expressed his gratitude that both had come again, not abandoning him for one of his rivals.  
  
“He didn't want to come,” Christian said mockingly, throwing a punishing glance at Jensen, “but I made him. I want the best for my boy's wedding, and you are the best.”  
  
Jensen looked slightly embarrassed and, most of all, like he really preferred being somewhere else, throwing glances like daggers towards his buddy.  
  
Jared felt his mood and enthusiasm begin to slip a little, feeling the rejection and aversion in the man's posture and glance. Here he was, the man of his dreams, acting so different from the version Jared knew. It rattled Jared a little, suddenly being unsure how he should approach the man. He wanted to treat him like a buddy, like someone he had known for years, but Jared suddenly realized that he didn't know this man at all, and that, apart from his looks, Jensen was probably different from the man he had been falling in love with than Jared had ever imagined.  
  
“Okay,” Jared started, willing to make it easier and quicker for Jensen. “The sooner we start, the quicker you can go home. So, I've been thinking of what I could offer you after what Christian told me about the wedding,” Jared said as he tried to smile at those words, even though he wanted to throw up at the simple thought of Jensen getting married to some rich chick, "and from what I've seen of you yesterday," _and the past decade in my dreams_ , Jared added in his thoughts, scolding himself at the same time for having these thoughts at all, knowing exactly that it would be a disaster if he revealed his secret.  
  
He told Jensen what he thought would suit him, showing him a couple of suits he had designed, explained what material he'd choose and which color would match with the bridesmaid's dresses. Having not even spoken for a minute, he noticed that Jensen was barely listening, distracted with playing with his tie or fingers, his green, tired eyes moving over the walls, looking at the photos hanging there. Jensen only brought his attention back to the sketches Jared was showing him after Chris had poked him with his elbow. Only when Jared said that a green silk tie would wonderfully match Jensen's beautiful eyes did he receive the first real reaction from his customer – a little smile, almost amused, with a sparkle in said eyes.  
  
Jared blushed, realizing what he had said, but continued with his explanations like nothing had happened, even though he wanted nothing else but bang his head against the wall, hard, and more than just once.  
  
Finally, his throat already dry and raw from all the talking, Jared was done. “Do you want to take the measurements now?” Jared asked, already knowing the answer when he noticed Jensen's tired face. “We can also wait until next time", he offered at once." If you prefer, we can finish now, and you can take those with you and decide what you want to take,” he said as he pointed at the copies of his drafts on the table and a few cloth samples.  
  
Nodding, Jensen agreed, adding a halfhearted smile and apology. “Sorry, Jared. It's been a long day. I'd rather do that another time.”  
  
“Sure, that's fine.”  _Now we are square,_ Jared thought, thinking about the way he had treated Jensen yesterday, and how he was now treated in return. Quickly, he offered them another evening appointment on the following Monday, escorted them to the door, and after they had said their goodbyes, watched them leave until their car vanished  
  
Winning Jensen's heart was going to be a long and bumpy ride.

**2**

Jared was frustrated. Two weeks and two more meetings with Jensen, and he was not closer to winning the man's heart than in the moment the older guy had stepped into his shop and meanwhile, Jared had to admit that Jensen was hard to crack.

No matter what Jared had said or asked, he had only gotten short, almost impolite, answers or comments in return - if the older man had bothered to answer at all, because sometimes, he had fobbed Jared off with curt nods or noninvolved shrugs. Jared didn't need to be a pro in reading body language, because for everyone who saw him, one thing was clear; Jensen Ackles wanted to be anywhere but in  _Jared’s Tailor Paradise._

The older man's attitude drove Jared to the edge of desperation because, honestly, he didn't have a clue what was going on, or what he was doing wrong. He had treated Jensen more attentively than most of his customers, had entertained him with small talk, and had offered a compliment here and there, without being too obvious of course, because Jensen was not a guy who invited people to hit on him. But no matter what Jared did or said, nothing seemed to work. After Jensen's last visit, Jared had furiously thrown his pins against the wall, crying in frustration, not only because picking them up was a hell of a lot of work, but also because he really was at wits’ end here.

A huge container of ice-cream in one of his hands, Jared was now slouching on the sofa, watching some sit-com, being bored to death. Sure, he could go see Chad, Jordan, and his bunch of other buddies in their favorite hangout, but today he wasn’t in the mood for loud music, beer and pool. He was in the mood to wallow in self-pity.

He should have counted on Chad though, because right in between his third round of zapping through the TV programs, his cell was ringing.

_"Stop whining, and come shove your ass right over,"_ Chad demanded, and if Jared wasn’t much mistaken, he could hear Jordan and Jack talking in the background as well as cars rushing by.

"Hello to you, too, Chad," Jared bitched back. "Not in the mood. Bye." Without another word, Jared hung up. Switching his cell off, he threw it into some corner of his modern living-room where he would have to get up to reach it, something he didn’t intend on doing before the ice-cream was gone.

Barely five minutes later his door bell was ringing. Not once or twice, but constantly and, of course, Jared could hear his buddy’s laughter booming through the door, even drowning out the bell.

"Come on, bitch!" Chad yelled. "Don’t be like this!"

Jared sighed, surrendering for the moment, because what choice did he have? Having known Chad since kindergarten, Jared was sure the guy wouldn’t stop ringing the bell for the next hour, and the only thing Jared would gain was trouble with the neighbors because, sooner or later, they’d complain about the noise the bunch of men made in front of his house.

Boldly pulling the front door open, Chad, who had been leaning heavily against it, stumbled in, right against Jared’s broad chest. There was more laughter and Jared couldn’t help but join his buddies, the sight having been just too funny to ignore.

After Chad had found his equilibrium again, he shoved Jared further back inside his hallway. "Stop moping, JT, and come with us. There’s some crap horror movie with dead chicks at the cinema and later we can get wasted at a bar. A friend of Jack’s cousin -."

"A friend of a friend of my cousin", Jack threw in.

Chad sighed impatiently. "Anyways, this guy said that some cool new band is playing at  _Murphy’s_ and it sounds good. So, get yourself a shower." He wrinkled up his nose and screwed his face into a mask of disgust because, yeah, Jared hadn’t bothered with personal hygiene after he had returned from his long run, in which he had hoped in vain to get his frustration out of his system. "And be ready in fifteen."

Without any further explanation, Chad waved their other buddies in, leading the way to the kitchen where they’d surely rob Jared off all his beer. There was not much Jared could do, being ambushed like that, and he just shrugged, heading towards his bathroom.

**

Freshly showered, Jared was sitting in his car twenty minutes later, driving over to  _Murphy’s_ . They could walk to the cinema from there and Jared wasn’t planing to drink too much. He tended to get even more touchy-feely than usual with too much booze in his veins, something he definitely didn’t need right now, his last snuggling session with Chad having given his buddies enough blackmail material to last a lifetime. He still wasn’t in the best of moods but the hot shower had helped to loosen Jared’s aching muscles and his friend’s bright laughter was catching, making him join the banter more often than not, lifting his spirits.

"Forget the guy," Jordan whispered as he caught Jared staring at the red traffic light, obviously brooding. Of course, all his close friends knew about Jared’s dreamboat sailing right into his tailor shop, ignoring him more or less completely. "You know that he exists, which is extraordinary enough, but please, Jay," he said as he touched his arm gently, "don’t dwell on dreams. The guy’s getting married and whatever he is for you, you aren’t the same for him, so just forget him."

Jared sighed heavily. Deep down, he knew that Jordan and all his other friends were right. It probably was in vain to invest more energy in persuading Jensen that he was a good guy, a much better person than his stupid fiancee ever could be. Not to forget was the tiny fact that Jensen was straight, and that straight guys rarely turned gay, least of all for him. But after all those years, after spending hours and hours searching for Jensen, Jared just couldn’t give up after two weeks and two business meetings.

He was determined to at least try to get together with Jensen in a less business-like atmosphere. But his buddy didn’t need to know that. "I’ll try," Jared promised, with a fake grin plastered on his face. He was satisfied when Jordan bought it, turning towards their buddies in the back of his car, joining the banter there.

**

The movie wasn't anything special but at least it had hot, half-naked chicks for his buddies and a very attractive male hero to drool over for Jared, wearing nothing but a dirty, sweaty tank top most of the time and tight jeans that hugged his delicious looking ass, bringing out the best of it.

After almost two hours of hooting and howling, of laughing and just being loud, Jared felt much better than before, and, arm slung over Chad's shoulder, they walked back to  _Murphy's_ and Jared found himself thanking his best buddy for saving him from a night of self-pity.  
  
*  
  
The bar was warm, smoky and crowded, smelling of grilled meat and chips, of sweaty bodies and smoke. Countless voices mingled into an almost deafening noise, and the rock music booming out of the old jukebox in the corner didn't really help. Letting their eyes glide over the dozens of people, Jared and his buddies were looking for an empty table, finally finding one in a semi-lit corner. It was much too small for their party of five but better than nothing, and Chad probably wouldn't stay long anyways, already prowling through the crowd, looking for prey in the form of young, willing girls.  
  
While Jordan launched towards the table, Jack and his brother Kevin went looking for their cousin, which left Jared and Chad to get drinks for everyone. Carefully, they cleaved through the crowds and as Jared let his eyes sweep over the tenants, an easy task if you are 6.4", he was sure he spotted the now familiar face of Christian Kane in the distance, near the stage, their eyes meeting for only a second. But when he wanted to have another look, Jared's view was blocked by a bunch of guys almost as tall as him.  
  
Jared felt his heart jump with excitement because if that really was Kane, the chance that Jensen was here as well was quite good, wasn't it? He didn’t have much time to think about a possible encounter though because, just moments later, a man was being shoved right into him, spilling his ice-cold beer over Jared's brand new shirt.  
  
The cold liquid pierced his skin and Jared couldn't repress a series of curses, his words not directed towards the poor guy that had fallen against him, but towards the assholes who had shoved him right into his arms.  
  
"I'm sorry, man," the other man gasped, and only when he looked up, emerald eyes piercing Jared's angrily sparkling ones, did Jared notice that it was Jensen who had been shoved against his chest.  
  
Resisting the urge to hug the self-consciously looking man to his chest, Jared released him from the circle of his arms. "Jensen? You good?"  
  
Only now did the older man seem to notice that it had been his tailor he had been bumped into and, even though the light was dim, Jared saw his cheeks turning scarlet as Jensen babbled another apology. "Jared... I'm sorry. I didn't see you... God, I ruined your shirt!" Feverishly, and obviously without thinking about what he was doing, Jensen was wiping his hands over the wet material, trying in vain to get rid of the beer Jared had been soaked with, the reek of it now strong in his nose.  
  
Jared couldn't help but notice how good it felt, the warmth of Jensen's hand seeping through the wet and cold cloth and right into the clammy skin of his chest. "Hey, it's okay," Jared said, grasping Jensen's jerking hand with his own, gently taking it away from his wet shirt, regretting his move at once because of the loss of warmth. "No harm done." That, of course, was a lie, because the shirt was probably ruined, but Jensen didn't have to know.  
  
He heard the guys that had shoved Jensen around laughing and shouting and that was when the man's eyes widened into something Jared would almost call fear. "I need to go," Jensen stuttered, putting down his almost empty glass before he turned around, looking for a way out of the crowd.  
  
"Jensen. Wait," Jared demanded, though his tone was gentle. "I know that we don't really know each other and, well, that we aren't friends, me being nothing but your tailor, but why don't you join me and my buddies over there?" Jared pointed in the rough direction where Jordan had reserved their table.  
  
"I don't know," the older man stuttered insecurely. "Don't want to intrude."  
  
Jared brushed the comment away. "Nah, you wouldn't. It's just Jordan and me, probably. Chad's hunting for women and I think Jack and Kevin," he said as he spotted the brothers in the crowd, talking to their cousin Jared was barely acquainted with, "prefer to hang out with their cousin. I don't blame them, they hardly see the guy since he moved to Boston. So, please, come and join me, okay?"  
  
Slowly, Jensen nodded and it made Jared all warm and fuzzy inside, like back when he asked Katie out for their first date and she said yes. "Awesome!" He grinned and weaved his way back to the table, turning around more than once to make sure that Jensen was following him.  
  
*  
  
Tapping his foot against the wooden floor, Jordan was waiting impatiently for his buddy, eyes widening in surprise one he noticed that Jared hadn't returned alone, but in the company of some unknown guy. "Hey", he called out, taking in Jared's state with one disapproving look, scolding him mockingly once he saw that his buddy hadn't returned with booze. "Where's the beer, man? That's what you get when you send your gay buddy to fetch something to drink. He returns with nothing but a guy!"  
  
"Jordan!" Jared called in shock, because that wasn't the way he had planned to come out to Jensen. "That's Jensen Ackles;.one of my customers." He emphasized the last word, and Jensen looked like he wanted to be anywhere else in the world, obviously unsure of how he should react now. "Jensen", Jared said as he pointed to Jordan, "that's Jordan, one of my oldest friends. His goal in life is to embarrass me." 

The introduction made Jordan chuckle, and even Jensen couldn't refrain himself from smiling.

As he busied himself to sit down, Jared saw Jordan's knowing, but also questioning look. Thankfully, an almost imperceptible shake of Jared's head was enough for his buddy to keep his mouth shut for the time being.  
  
"You reek like a brewery," Jordan stated as he wriggled his nose in disgust. "What happened?"  
  
"Some assholes shoved Jensen right into me." Jared shrugged, like he didn’t mind neither his ruined shirt nor the obtrusive reek. "And he spilled his beer. Nothing happened."  
  
"Sure something happened," Jordan objected. "You forgot the beer, jerk!" He laughed as he got up to head for the bar to take care of the booze himself.  
  
"Hey!" Jared called back after him. "Bring us something too, okay? Round’s on me!" he added when all he got in reply was Jordan's pretty middle finger.  
  
"If you have friends like that, you don't need enemies." Jared laughed, but his voice was gentle.  
  
Jensen still looked at him, sort of intimidated, and Jared wasn't sure if it was still from the incident before or because of Jordan's stupid words.

Suddenly, a thought hit Jared. God, he thought, don't let Jensen be a homophobe! The thought alone made Jared sick and uncomfortable and uncommonly self-conscious. "Listen. About earlier, what Jordan said... I, ummm." Shit, he really didn't know what to say, and Jensen wasn’t helping him at all, only looking at him curiously. "It's not that, um... you're here because I am gay. I mean, I am gay, that's true, but I'm not planning on.."  
  
Thankfully, Jensen decided to finally release him from his rambling, cutting him off with a hearty laugh. "Hey. It's okay. I know guys like Jordan. My buddy Mike's just like that. And I don't mind. It's cool."  
  
"Yeah?" Jared asked, just to be sure that they were talking about the same thing here.  
  
"Yeah. I'm no homophobe, Jared. Actually, I already thought you might be gay."  
  
"Am I that obvious?" Jared shot back, not sure if he should be surprised or hurt, or simply appalled.  
  
Jensen laughed, and it sounded good, free and light, making the butterflies in Jared's belly flutter pleasantly. "Nah. Don't worry. It's the job, you know. Tailor and designer... it just screams gay. And apart from that, you don't have a photo of a girl on your desk in your office."  
  
"Oh," Jared stuttered surprised, because he hadn't expected Jensen to check his office out like that.  
  
"Yeah. So, it's cool. Really."  
  
"Cool," Jared repeated, flashing a broad dimpled smile at Jensen. "So, um, what happened earlier? Why were these assholes shoving you around, cussing you?"  
  
Jensen's face darkened and it was clear that he didn't want to talk about it. "That was Gino, my future brother-in-law," Jensen spit out in disgust. "And if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about him or what just happened."  
  
Even though Jared's curiosity was of course awakened by that revelation, he nodded. "Sure, that's cool. But you didn't come here with him, did you?"  
  
"God no!" Jensen shuddered visibly. "I try to avoid him whenever possible, I just stumbled over him accidentally. I'm here with Chris."  
  
Jared nodded. "Yeah, thought I'd seen him earlier."  
  
" _Kane's_ his band," Jensen explained.  
  
" _Kane_ ?"   
  
"Yeah. The band that's going to play later in the night. That's Chris'."  
  
"Wow," Jared called out in surprise because even though he had thought that Christian Kane was a cool guy, he hadn't expected him to make music. "Actually," Jared admitted, "I didn't know the band was called  _Kane_ . Jack brought us here, he said they were cool."  
  
"They are," Jensen said proudly. "Really cool."  
  
A weird silence stretched between them as neither knew what else to say, and Jared watched Jensen scratch his fingernails over the old wooden table nervously. "So, um," he said eventually, "tell me about yourself, Jensen."  
  
The older man shrugged. "Not much to tell. I'm 28. Working at  _Harris Industries_ in middle management. Studied economics at UT Dallas where I'm originally from. You already know my best friend Chris. We were kindergarten friends, and since I moved to San Antonio, he tries to keep me sane." Jensen laughed, but there wasn't much humor in it, and Jared was sure something was off in Jensen's life and that there was much more to tell than the few basics he had just heard. "Then there's Steve, who's another good buddy, and founded the band with Chris a few years back. That's it."  
  
For a while, Jared didn't say anything, a few questions running through his mind – such as why Jensen hadn't mentioned his fiancee at all or hadn't offered any information about his family. And he was wondering how Jensen had managed to get a position in middle management in a huge company like  _Harris Industries_ , where jobs, Jared knew from old school buddies, were almost impossible to come by. Jensen had left a lot of question marks in front of Jared's inner eye, but even before he could think about how to best approach him, Jensen spared him any awkward questions.  
  
"What about you?" Jensen asked, and Jared didn't mind telling him extensively about his life, his family and friends, and his business.

Attentively, Jensen listened to him, and Jared couldn't believe the huge difference between Jensen now, relaxed and interested, and Jensen back in his tailor shop, uncommunicative and withdrawn. It was like they were two different guys and Jared couldn't help wonder why. Maybe it was just the atmosphere in his shop? But it was comfortable and cozy, dozens of satisfied customers had told him that. So, why was Jensen so odd there and so relaxed now?  
  
Babbling on and on, Jared only noticed that Jordan and Chad had joined them when Chad's inquisitive voice cut through his own.

"And who're you?" he asked, handing Jared a fresh mug of beer, smiling mischievously.

Jared was sure Chad knew exactly who Jensen was, Jordan surely having told him.  
  
"That's Jensen," Jared said. "And don't be a dick, because he's not only my customer but just had an encounter with his asshole of future brother-in-law and doesn't need to meet any more assholes today." He smiled, grinning even broader when Chad showed him his middle finger.  
  
"Jensen," Chad let the name roll of his tongue like he had never heard it before. "A customer." He grinned broadly, knowing very well that Jensen was so much more than a simple customer for Jared. "Are you satisfied with the job Jay-man's doing for you?"  
  
Jensen shrugged, like he couldn't care less, and that was when a thought finally hit Jared. Maybe Jensen was like that because he really didn’t care?

Thinking about all the other guys, or even girls he had tailored wedding clothes for, they always had been overly excited, rambling on about wedding preparations, invitations, ceremony and celebration. Jensen, though, hadn't mentioned his wedding with one word, only giving information when Jared had asked. Maybe he wasn't so enthusiastic about getting married? Maybe he didn't love her and he was just marrying her for the money? But no, he didn't seem like that, and working at  _Harris Industries,_ he must have a good enough income himself. But on the other hand, he was wearing cheap clothes, and Chris was paying for the suit.

Jared was so lost in his train of thought that he neither did hear Jensen's answer nor Chad's reply, and only when Jordan bumped his shoulder did he look up, luckily seeing Jensen and Chad laughing together. He was quite sure they laughed about him.  
  
"What did you tell him, ass?" Jared demanded to know, and Chad just smiled at him maliciously.  
  
"Oh, nothing." Chad's smile widened into near impossible. "Just this sweet little story about how you tailored your first pants in college to give it a try and…" He burst out laughing.

Groaning, Jared buried his head in his hands in embarrassment, though he was not able to hide his own laugh eventually, remembering how the seams had burst, leaving him standing in the cafeteria with nothing but his ugly old underwear, the prominent bulge in his boxers clear to everyone, because Chad had wanted details about his most recent dream of Jensen and Jared had given them to him, describing almost everything. Jared just hoped that Chad hadn't told Jensen about that tiny detail.  
  
"I just hope," Jensen said with a laugh, "that your seams are more resistant nowadays, Jared."  
  
"Oh be sure of it." Jared winked. "I've learned a great deal in the past years. I promise; you will have the most perfect suit for the best day of your life."  
  
Once more, darkness crept over Jensen's face like storm clouds crept over the horizon, intensifying Jared's impression that the planned wedding made Jensen everything but happy. He wanted to find out what was going on, but here was neither the right time nor the right place, as he only started to get to know Jensen better.

Luckily, Jared was spared to say something else, because finally the stage was lit and a guy, probably the owner or manager of _Murphy'_ s, stepped onto the spotlight, announcing  _Kane_ .  
  
Jensen jumped up from his seat, whistling and clapping his hands, and after Chris had sung the first few words, Jared and his buddies joined Jensen, who was singing along fervently.  
  
Jensen hadn't lied. Kane were more than cool, their songs really catchy, the atmosphere great, and the time with them on stage flew by.  
  
_Kane_ had just finished their last song when Jensen emptied the remains of his beer, saying that it was time for him to go and see Chris and his other buddies. "Thanks for the company, guys", he said, smiling at Jared and his friends, receiving equally broad smiles in return.  
  
"Thanks for joining us." Jared was disappointed about Jensen leaving but he hid it behind his wide smile. "See you on Wednesday?"  
  
His smile fell a little. "Yeah. Sure. On Wednesday."  
  
With a last wave to the group, Jensen was gone, leaving Jared in a weird uproar.  
  
*  
  
"Don't!" Jared cut Chad off even before he could open his mouth as he was driving his too-tipsy buddy home.  
  
"Not saying anything," Chad slurred. "Except, he's a nice guy, your Jensen. But something," he tapped his index finger against his palm and added, "is not right here."  
  
Jared was surprised. He'd never believed his buddy to be that sensible, noticing that something was odd.  
  
"He should be glowing, your Jensen. Getting married and all that shit. But he was miserable whenever someone mentioned it. You know, dude, when you went to have a piss," Chad hiccuped and slurred, "I tried to find something out – subtle of course." Jared rolled his eyes, because Chad wasn't exactly subtle. "But the guy, he frowned, making a face like seven rainy days, not saying much, and changing the subject. Remember when Kevin got married? He couldn't stop talking about Steph."  
  
Before Chad began to babble about Kevin and his wife, and the dream wedding in white they had last summer, Jared cut him off. "Yeah. I noticed. Something seems off."  
  
"Promise you'll find out." Chad looked at him with big, glassy eyes.  
  
"If it's the last thing I do," Jared promised, happy that, no matter how obnoxious Chad might be, in the end, he was a good buddy, supporting him, and taking an interest.  


  
  
**3**

  
  
On Wednesday, Jensen was almost half an hour late for his appointment and Jared was already thinking about calling it a day and offering Jensen another appointment, when he finally knocked on the door. He looked like shit, tired and weary, but Jared didn't mention it, and he just waved Jensen’s exhausted sounding, though sincere, apology away.  
  
"Don't worry about that, Jensen," Jared said, handing him a freshly made coffee without any explanation.  
  
Gratefully, the older man wrapped his fingers around the mug, taking in the scent and letting the steam caress his cheeks.  
  
"Shitty day at work?" Jared asked, and receiving the already familiar curt nod in return. Today though, he didn't mind. He knew that Jensen wasn't always like that, and after a hard day's work, even Jared sometimes was too tired for words.  
  
"Listen, um, I know it's not my business," Jared began. Jensen looked at Jared with interest. "But how did you come to have that great job at _Harris Industries_ ? Everyone in San Antonio knows how hard it is to get in there."  
  
"Indeed, it's not your business," Jensen said, but the gentle tone told Jared that Jensen was okay with the question. "But, it's fine. A fair question, because you're right, those jobs are hard to come by."  
  
"So, umm..."  
  
"Jonathan Harris is an old friend of my dad's," Jensen explained flatly. "His daughter is my future wife," he said neutrally, though if Jared wasn't much mistaken, there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.  
  
"You're getting married to Jonathan Harris' daughter?" Jared gaped because he hadn't expected this. The girl must be worth millions.  
  
Jensen shrugged, obviously not impressed by the prospect of living a life in unbelievable wealth. "Yeah," he confirmed. "So they thought it would only be appropriate if I worked for the company. And with my degree in economics, I'm qualified," Jensen stated, like this was important to him, that he didn't only get the job through connections but also because of his qualifications.  
  
"Sure you are," Jared said gently. "I'm sure you do well, Jensen." He wanted to make sure that Jared didn't think lesser of him, just because he knew the right people.  
  
Jensen didn't answer, looking a little off, like he was lost in his thoughts. 

Jared, on the other hand, still had a dozen of questions, but he felt the atmosphere shift, from comfortable into awkward, and he held them back, hoping that he still had a few more chances to get to know Jensen better. Thanks to their unexpected encounter at  _Murphy's_ , the men now had reached a friendlier and less business-like basis, and Jared hoped that he could continue to work on that.  
  
"Hey," Jared said as he busied himself to fetch his tailoring kit, "I know you barely know me and my buddies, but we all enjoyed your company and Chad asked me to invite you to his birthday party next weekend." Actually, Chad hadn't said anything of the sort, but after their drunken chat, and another more sober one, Jared was sure that his buddy would support this invitation. Taking that Chad probably didn't know half of his birthday party guests anyways, Chad surely wouldn't mind. "You could bring Chris, or some other buddy," Jared added when he saw the hesitation in the other man's face, his teeth thoughtfully playing with his lips.  
  
"Sounds good," Jensen finally said when Jared almost had given up on any answer at all.  
  
"Really?" Jared hoped his delight wasn't too obvious in his beaming smile.  
  
"Yeah, why not." Jensen smiled. "I don't have any plans and you guys are pretty cool."  
  
"Awesome!" Jared clapped his hands once, almost pricking himself with a needle. "I'll text you the details."  
  
**  
  
Smiling and satisfied, Jared was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Today, life was good.  
  
After the fitting, Jared had asked Jensen if he fancied staying for a chat, and even though the older man was tired, yawning and stretching his body when Jared didn't look, Jensen had agreed.  
  
Jared then had taken Jensen to the little Italian restaurant one block away. It was nothing more than a bistro, with a short menu, but the food was delicious, and Jared had smiled at the oral orgasm Jensen had had, moaning happily whenever the wonderfully spiced food had hit his taste buds.  
  
After their dinner was devoured down to the last crumb, they had chatted awhile, Jensen loosening up, laughing at Jared's jokes.  
  
It was great to hear that laugh, to see those wrinkles around Jensen's eyes deepening and to look at his slightly flushed face, thanks to the warmth and the glass of red wine. 

In the way Jensen behaved, Jared saw more of the man of his dreams, and even though he knew that the real Jensen wasn't exactly like the man he had dreamed of for years, it was good to see that a part of his fantasy had turned into reality, and that he and Jensen got on well after all.

He still didn't know why, but Jared was sure that Jensen felt uncomfortable because of the wedding and the suit Jared had been ordered to make for that occasion, and not because he didn't like him or his tailoring in general.  
  
Jensen had objected when Jared had insisted on paying the check, muttering under his breath that he could pay for himself, and Jared didn't doubt that with the job he had, but he had wanted to do it nonetheless.

The little, grateful smile that had ghosted over Jensen's lips when Jared had finally convinced him that it was no big deal was the most beautiful smile Jared had ever seen, and he barely could refrain himself from hugging Jensen goodbye, but waving awkwardly instead.  
  
Jared felt they were close to becoming friends and this made him happier than he had been for a while.  
  
***

  
Chad laughed sleazily when Jared told him that he might have invited Jensen in his name, but he was okay with it, and even if he hadn’t, Jared wouldn't have been able to take it back without losing face.

Spending an extra long time in the bathroom, Jared took particular care of dressing, choosing tight jeans and a self-made dark red shirt that hugged his muscled body in all the right places. He knew he was being stupid, for all he knew Jensen was straight - the fact that he wasn't too excited about his upcoming marriage not changing this fact - but still, he wanted to make a good impression on the man.  
  
First though, Jared didn't make any impression at all, because when he arrived at Chad's, Jensen was nowhere to be seen, and even after an hour of Jared chatting with friends, and even catching Jordan making out with his latest girlfriend, Jensen remained absent.

Tapping his huge foot impatiently against the carpeted floor, Jared would check his cell once in a while, hoping for some text from Jensen, but every time he looked, he was disappointed.  
  
He had almost given up hope on seeing Jensen tonight, the clock slowly but surely moving towards 11 pm, when Jared finally spotted Jensen's spiked hair near the front door. If Jared wasn't much mistaken, the older man let his glance wander over the crowd, looking for someone in particular, and when Jared waved at him zealously, a wide smile appeared on the older man's face.

Deftly, Jensen weaved through the crowd, reaching Jared less than a minute later.

"You came!" Jared beamed, once more refraining himself from pulling Jensen into his arms.

"Sure, I did" Jensen laughed.

"I almost doubted it."

"Yeah, sorry about that" Jensen sighed. "I was delayed." He tried hard for a neutral tone but couldn't help the frown that darkened his face.

"You okay?" Jared asked worriedly.

"Sure. Just... dinner with the future in-laws. Unexpected above all."

"Gino gave you a hard time?"

Shuddering, Jensen nodded once. "Yeah. You can call it that."

Jared just wanted to offer Jensen his ear, if he needed someone to talk to, but before he could speak, Jensen smiled again. It still looked a bit pained but it was a bit more sincere. "Anyways, where's the birthday boy?" Jensen asked, pulling a wrapped gift out of the little bag he carried around. "And more importantly, where's the booze?"

Laughing, Jared led Jensen over to the kitchen, where they not only found enough booze to drink themselves stupid, but Chad, making out with his newest conquest.

He smiled stupidly when he noticed Jensen, pulling him into an awkward one-armed hug when he took the gift, placing it on the huge pile with all the other still-wrapped presents.

"Thanks for coming, man," Chad slurred. "You finally released Jaybird here from a horrible fate."

"Did I?" Jensen chuckled, looking back and forth between the two friends.

"Sure. He was yearning for you."

Throwing a glance as sharp as a dagger towards his friend, wondering if Chad could embarrass him even more, Jared agreed nevertheless. "Yeah, I was. This party sucks, and I was hoping for someone with a bit more intelligence than Chad, who has the wits of a teaspoon."

They all laughed at this and, before Chad could say anything else, Jared grabbed a handful of beers for Jensen and him, and tugged his new friend out of the kitchen and over into Chad's spare room where he knew he'd find most of his closer friends.

They were met with cheers and hellos and Jared introduced Jensen to the guys who hadn't met him at  _Murphy's_ . 

Thankfully, they were all great, including Jensen in their chatter and banter, and Jared's heart made a somersault when he noticed how well his new buddy fit into his group of friends.

Eventually, most of his buddies left to hang out with other friends, leaving Jared and Jensen alone in the tiny room Chad used as an office.

They chatted about random things, talked about sports, movies and music until somehow, their conversation turned towards more personal topics.

"Jared? I know it's not my business but, um, do you have a boyfriend?"

Jared's eyes widened in surprise because he hadn't expected such a question from Jensen, who, even though he had warmed up to him, still carried that aura of bashfulness with him.

Normally, Jared didn't mind answering that question, but with Jensen it was different – Jensen being the reason he'd never had a boyfriend before. He wasn't sure what he could tell him to stay safe, but avoiding the question was unfair, too. "Nah." Jared shrugged, like he didn't mind and, honestly, he didn't. It had been his choice and now, as Jared had finally found Jensen, he regretted it less than ever. Jensen was a good guy and even if he would marry that Harris girl, Jared was sure he had at least found a friend in him.

"Why not?" Jensen asked curiously, his green eyes piercing Jared.

"Good boyfriends are hard to find, Jensen," Jared explained carefully. "And so far, I haven't been lucky."

Absently, Jensen repeated Jared's words. "Yeah. They're hard to find."

Maybe now, with Jensen being slightly tipsy, the atmosphere between them more comfortable, having the room to themselves, and the topic being broached, it was Jared's chance to finally ask what was going on between Jensen and his fiancee. But something held him back. Perhaps it was because he didn't want to upset his new friend, or because the atmosphere between them was just too cozy to risk something like a fall out. Perhaps, it was also because, even if they were slowly starting to get to know each other, Jared still didn't really know the real Jensen. Or perhaps, it was that protection shield Jensen seemed to carry around all the time, shielding him from awkward questions.

Whatever it was, Jared didn't dare to ask. Not yet. Eventually, Jared was certain, his time would come, but not today. Today, he smiled at Jensen, wordlessly offering him a fresh beer, deftly changing the subject to safer grounds.

*

Three hours later, Jensen leaned heavily against him, babbling incomprehensible things, giggling happily. For the first time since that night at the bar, Jared dared to wrap his arms around his new buddy, holding him upright, Jensen’s legs being wobbly like Jello.

"Let's get you home," Jared said, waving Chad goodbye, happy that his buddy was even more wasted than Jensen was, therefore not really understanding what was going on. If he had, Jared was sure that Chad wouldn't have been able to repress some kind of embarrassing comment.

The taxi Jared had called a couple of minutes ago was already waiting for them by the time he stepped into the uncommonly cool March night, dragging Jensen's almost dead weight along with him. The cold wind was biting his flushed cheeks, and when he heard Jensen chattering his teeth miserably, he hurried up, shoving the older man unceremoniously into the back of the car.

Only when the cab driver asked where to go did Jared realize that he didn't have a clue where Jensen was living. It took Jensen a while to understand Jared's question and offer the requested information, his drunken babble almost incomprehensible, but eventually the cab chased through the empty streets, coming to halt in front of a shabby building roughly 20 minutes later.

"That can't be right," Jared muttered under his breath, though still loud enough that the driver could hear it.

"It is," he said as he turned around, looking at his passenger like Jared had affronted him.

With disbelief, Jared shook his head. This couldn't be right. Why would Jensen, who earned a heap of money, live in a shack like that? He didn't say anything though, and paid the driver. The neighborhood didn't look safe and the cab driver didn’t want to wait for his passenger to come back, no matter how much money Jared offered.

"Jensen?" Gently, Jared shook his friend's arm. "You're home."

Unbelievably slowly, Jensen opened his eyes, nodding once when he recognized the barely lit building he called home. Jared helped him out of the car, stepping onto the dirty alley, reeking of trash and piss, with a rat scurrying over the street when the cab drove away.

"You shouldn't have come here," Jensen whispered, suddenly sounding more sober than he did in the last few hours.

"I'm here now, so I’ll make sure you'll get to bed." He tugged Jensen with him, towards the house he was sure was Jensen's, waiting until the drunken man handed him the keys. Inside the building, it was dark, the reek barely better than outside, smelling of decade old filth and mold. Jared shuddered, not wanting to think about what was living there apart from humans.

"Third floor," Jensen muttered, heading towards the staircase because, as Jared now noticed, the elevator was broken and probably had been for many years.

Slowly and carefully, the wooden stairs sighing with every step, Jared dragged Jensen upstairs, making small but not too long pauses every few steps, the almost dark surrounding and the many noises just too creepy to linger in the stairwell any longer than absolutely necessary.

Finally, they arrived on the third floor landing, and Jensen stumbled to the door in the middle, waiting until Jared had opened the three locks that secured it. It was cold inside, but other than outside, it smelled pleasantly well, and when Jensen's uncoordinated hands had finally found the light switch, the apartment's main room - living-room with kitchen - was submerged in a cozy light.

Looking around, Jared noticed that the room was tidy, with no dishes lying in the sink or half-empty pizza boxes being scattered over the coffee table. The furniture was simple but in good condition, and it seemed that Jensen had made the best of his shabby apartment, creating a cozy little home. Nonetheless, Jared couldn't help wondering why Jensen was living in that area of town. He wasn't being judgmental, but simply found it strange. It was another question mark in the book of mystery that was the real Jensen Ackles, and Jared hoped that in the course of time, he'd find out.

"You should go to bed, buddy," Jared said gently, steering Jensen towards one of the two doors leading away from the main room.

"Nah. Can't sleep." Jensen stopped right in his step, stumbling towards the small couch instead.

"But you just had a nap in the cab," Jared tried to argue. "And it's almost 3:20 in the morning, man. Even I could use some shut eye and I'm not as wasted as you are."

Jensen laughed dryly. "I never go to sleep when I'm drunk like that," he slurred. "Need to get the stuff out of my system first, so I need some water and Advil and a bit of coffee. Do you think," he began to say, and then Jensen looked at him pleadingly, "you could do that for me, Jared?"

Jared shook his head bewildered, because when he was as drunk as Jensen was right now, he wanted nothing other than his bed. Nevertheless he got up, heading towards the kitchenette that had seen better days a long time ago. However, it was spotlessly clean and finding a bottle of water and the coffee machine with the life-saving ingredients was easy. A little harder to find were the pills, with Jensen only vaguely pointing at the drawers.

A couple of minutes later though, the coffee was running through the machine and Jared handed Jensen the water and two pills, watching him as he swallowed them down with a deep gulp. The wind was rattling the old, distorted windows and Jared felt the draft ghosting over his neck, the air cold and uncomfortable. He shuddered uncomfortably, remembering once more the dilapidated place he was in, and looked for a blanket to throw over Jensen. He found one on the old, squishy armchair – a thick, huge patchwork quilt that looked like his momma or grandma had made long ago.

"I should go now," Jared said as he spread the blanket over Jensen's leg, taking in a surprised gasp when Jensen's hand curled around his wrist, holding him right where he was, a grasp uncommonly strong for a wasted guy.

"No. Please stay. I know this place must look horrid to your eyes, but maybe you can just ignore it? And keep a friend company?"

Jared's heart warmed when Jensen called him a friend, and he had him exactly at that moment. "Okay, dude. I'll stay, but only if you share that blanket with me. And you have to let me go fetch the coffee."

Two minutes later, both men were huddled under the huge blanket, the scalding coffee warming their cold bodies. It was easy and unexpectedly cozy; Jensen's warmth caressing Jared, suddenly being closer than ever before.

A lump grew in Jared's chest, tightening it. That was what he had dreamed about. Closeness. Togetherness. Him and Jensen, snuggling under a blanket, trading kisses and touches, worshiping each other gently. As tiredness slowly crept over Jared, as his own shield went down, he was tempted to let go, giving in to his longing, doing with Jensen what he had dreamed about for years.

But like hours before, Jared didn't. Something held him back. Instead, he just slid a little closer, until their thighs touched, and to his utter surprise, Jensen leaned against him, not complaining when Jared looped his arm around him for additional warmth.

"Jensen? I know it's not my business..." Jared couldn't refrain his little smile, because honestly, they'd already used this far too often in their new friendship. "And please don’t get offended, but... why are you living here?"

For a long time, Jensen didn't say anything; just kept nursing his coffee, and Jared thought he had finally crossed the line until the older man answered quietly, "It's complicated."

Jared nodded because, yeah, he was sure it was. "Jensen, I know I'm nothing more to you than a tailor that your best friend picked to make your wedding suit. I also know that we have just started to become friends. But em, you're a cool guy, Jensen. I like you. I hope you know that you can talk to me, if you want to. I won't judge you."

A sad, little smile twitched over Jensen's face. "I know I can. But, Jared, you don't understand. Would it be enough if I told you that I have my reasons?" he asked sheepishly.

Of course it wasn't enough for Jared. But he was sure, if he wanted to gain Jensen's trust, it had to be enough for the time being. If Jensen, who was literally the man of his dreams, couldn’t learn to trust Jared, then no one could. "For now," he said quietly

Jensen smiled gratefully, and they finished their coffee in silence, only talking again once the caffeinated brew was gone. It was a random and easy chatter and, eventually, Jensen fell asleep, his head heavily pressed against Jared's shoulder.

Jared waited a while, wondering what was going on in the life of the man that was so familiar yet still so strange to him. When the minutes stretched into an hour, and dawn was breaking, Jared finally called himself a cab, making sure to leave Jensen a short note on the coffee table.

_Call me when you need me_ it simply said.

**4**

Jared feared that their next meeting might be awkward, but when Jensen stepped into his tailor shop a couple of days later, he smiled at Jared genuinely, thanking him for his help and company while he was wasted. Even though the mystery of Jensen Ackles had troubled Jared again and again in the past days, he was smart enough to not ask about his living situation again, hoping that someday soon he'd find out anyways.  
  
Patiently, Jensen stood still as a stone statue as Jared pinned his dress pants, the silence between them more comfortable than it had ever been before. It was good, Jared thought, that they had come that far and, much to Jared's relief, without really forcing it. Strangely, it had all happened thanks to Jensen's dick brother-in-law-to-be. Jared still felt anger when he thought about Jensen being humiliated like that, but it had been the chance Jared had been waiting for, and for that, he was grateful.  
  
"Looking good," Jared said satisfied once he was done, and for the first time, Jensen reacted. Looking down at him, he let his hands glide over the soft material of the pants, appreciating not only the luxurious fabric, but most of all Jared's craftsmanship, because even without a mirror, Jensen could see that the pants fit him perfectly.  
  
"Yeah?´" Jensen sighed. "They even make me look like a real gentleman."  
  
"You already are one, Jensen." Jared smiled. "Even with your casual style and your small apartment, you have more class than many of my regular customers, who spend more money than I can ever earn, on trying to be like you – and never succeed."  
  
For a few moments, there was nothing but silence, and Jared hoped he hadn't gone too far, but eventually, Jensen gave him a real, genuine smile, his eyes glistening with something Jared refused to believe were tears. "Thank you, Jay," Jensen breathed out.  
  
"It's true, so nothing to thank me for." Jared grinned broadly. "So, em, we're done for today. The pants should be completed in a few days, and then there's still the shirt and jacket to fit. Everything should be finished way before the wedding." At the mentioning of the wedding, Jensen's face fell again. 'Anyways,” Jared recovered, “do you maybe like to hang out again sometime?"  
  
It was like a miracle, Jensen's frown turning into a glowing smile at the mere prospect of spending time with Jared, and it made the younger man's heart beat excitedly, a pleasant sparkle running through his body. "Yeah. I'd very much like to hang out."  
  
"Awesome!" Jared couldn't help it, he just had to smile, equally bright like his new friend. "What about tomorrow? The gang usually goes out to some bar, and I'm sure they'd all love for you to join us." Jensen wrinkled his brow, not sure if he really should do that, and when Jared noticed, he quickly added. "But if you don't like that idea, no problem. We could also go see a movie, or hang out at my place. Whatever you'd like to do."  _God_ , Jared thought,  _I'd even take you to a dull poetry reading, if that's what you wanted_ .  
  
"Your buddies are great, Jay." Only now did Jared notice that Jensen had called him that for the second time, and it made him smile a little, the gentle shortening of his name definitely a good sign. "But, em, also sort of..."  
  
"Lunatics?" Jared grinned broadly when Jensen struggled to find a right word to describe Jared's buddies.  
  
Jensen laughed. "Yeah. That summarizes it pretty well. Anyways, like I said, they're great, but I wouldn't mind spending some quality time with you, too. So yeah, I'd actually rather hang out at your place, if that's okay."  
  
That was more than okay, and Jared jubilated inside. This actually was awesome. Jensen wanted to spend some time with him – alone. It was like Christmas and his birthday all at once, offering Jared the chance to finally find out more about this intriguing guy – whom he probably would also have fallen for, Jared noticed with a flutter in his stomach, even if he hadn't dreamed of him for the past decade and a half. "Sure." Jared nodded enthusiastically. "That's brilliant. Let's watch some DVDs, have pizza and chips and lots of beer, and just have a great time."  
  
***  
  
If Jared had hoped to reveal more of the mystery that Jensen was, he was disappointed, because, most of the time, they talked random shit. Nevertheless, Jared found out some interesting things about his dreamboat he hadn't known before.  
  
Little random stuff like Jensen hated tuna and pepperoni on his pizza, that he preferred chocolate to chips, that he liked to play with the moist label on his beer bottle, and that he wiped his eyes, looking away slightly embarrassed, at romantic scenes in movies. But he also learned a few things from his past; Jensen had been valedictorian in High School, had studied at Harvard (Jared was impressed) and had a baby sister just like Jared had. He hadn’t mentioned his dad with one word, which made Jared think that they probably had had some sort of a fall out, but he spoke fondly of his mom and sister, how much he hoped that they'd move to San Antonio sooner than later, so that he could see them more often.  
  
Most of the time, though, Jensen bombarded Jared with questions, asking him about his business, his freshman year at college, his family, and his plans for the future. It made Jared smile, the attention and interest Jensen showed in everything he did, even in his lunatic circle of friends.  
  
Talking and laughing, eating and drinking, the time passed in the glimpse of an eye, and only when Jensen yawned heartily did Jared check his watch, noticing that midnight was long passed.  
  
"I should be going." Jensen scrunched his mouth to repress yet another yawn. "Getting late."  
  
"Crash here," Jared invited him without thinking about it too much. "I have a guest room that is never used, but I promise the bed in there is heavenly."  
  
Thinking about the offer, Jensen bit his lower lip absently. "I don't know, man. Don't want to cause any inconvenience."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous." Jared laughed. "It's no problem, really. We could even have breakfast tomorrow and then I'll drive you home. Much better than taking a cab, isn't it?"  
  
Slowly, Jensen nodded. "Yeah, it is. And the prospect of breakfast doesn't sound too bad, either."  
  
"So, you’ll stay?"  
  
"Yeah, I’ll stay."  
  
**  
  
It was weird, lying on his comfortable mattress in his cozy bedroom, knowing that just a few yards away, just separated by a thin wall of stones and mortar, Jensen was sleeping. It would be so easy, to tiptoe over to the next room, sneak into it, and watch the older man sleep, but that was utterly creepy. What would Jared do if Jensen woke up, or wasn't even asleep yet? How could Jared explain that he was stalking him? Most of all, observing Jensen like that was a massive betrayal of trust, and Jared just couldn't do that to Jensen.  
  
He bit down the urge to go to the next room, closing his eyes instead, daydreaming of Jensen's body, his voice, his eyes and hands, until the daydream turned into a real one. It was sort of disturbing, because at first, Jensen was there, and then he wasn't – being swallowed up by an impenetrable darkness, calling Jared's name, calling for help.  
  
Gasping, Jared tore his eyes open, listening hard, scared that his friend really had called for help. But everything was quiet in his house and all he could hear were some early birds heralding the start of day in his backyard.

Jared's racing pulse slowly calmed down and it took a long time until sleep finally embraced Jared again, now thankfully granting him a dreamless rest.  
  
**  
  
Jared had just switched on the coffee machine when Jensen stepped into the kitchen, barefoot, still wearing the sweat pants and tee that Jared had given him to sleep in. With his hair sticking out in all directions and his cheeks flushed, Jensen simply looked scrumptious. Jared’s mouth watered and his dick twitched in interest, the sight so gorgeous and sexy that it was hard to resist. He knew he was staring but he couldn't help it. This was better than all his dreams put together because this was real.  
  
"Jay? You good?" Concern dripped from Jensen's words, giving Jared an additional warm feeling.  
  
"Yeah. Sure. I was just..."  
  
"Staring." Jensen laughed, tousling through his hair self-consciously.  
  
There was no way to deny it, so Jared didn't. "Yeah, sorry. It's just, they suit you well, my old clothes. And I can't deny that you're a good looking guy, Jensen."  
  
Jensen’s sleep warm skin turned even more scarlet at the compliment. "Em, yeah. Thank you, I suppose. So, um, what about that breakfast you promised?" Jensen changed the subject, obviously not wanting to discuss the subject of his good looks any further. "I'm starving!"  
  
"Yeah, me too." As if he wanted to underscore Jared's words, his stomach growled hungrily, making both men laugh.  
  
They were quickly laying out the table, frying eggs and bacon, toasting bread, and cutting fruit. Barely 10 minutes later, they were enjoying their breakfast, the banter easy between them. Once in a while, Jared, whose eyes were drawn to Jensen like an iron is drawn to a magnet, hazarded an open look, a gentle smile on his lips, and his heart made somersaults whenever Jensen returned it.  
  
**  
  
"Thanks," Jensen said when Jared pulled the car into the narrow street where Jensen lived. "I had a great time."  
  
"Yeah, me too." Jared smiled broadly. "We should do it again."  
  
"Soon?” Jensen asked hopefully.  
  
"Very soon," Jared promised as he let his car roll to an halt. Now, in broad daylight, the house and the whole neighborhood didn't look that wrecked anymore, although there was a broken window in an empty apartment on the 2nd floor and some dark looking teenagers hanging around and looking at Jared's old BMW like they were thinking whether hijacking it would be worth the trouble.  
  
"Don't worry," Jensen said, noticing Jared's slightly troubled look. "These kids are harmless. I know they don't look like it but I know most of them and they're cool."  
  
Jared smiled. He was being stupid and prejudiced. "Yeah. I'm sure they are. So, um, have a good day, Jensen. We'll see each other soon?"  
  
"By next week," Jensen answered, reminding Jared of their appointment, "but hopefully sooner."  
  
"Hopefully."  
  
And then, quite unexpectedly, Jensen was there, right in his personal space, wrapping his arms around him. It felt so good, to finally be able to hold him, to press him against his chest, and Jared cherished the moment, barely able to resist the urge to kiss the man, the feeling of holding him close not quite enough.

"Bye, Jen," Jared whispered, and the girly nickname made Jensen smile gently, like he didn’t mind it.  
  
"No one has called me that since my Gran died."  
  
Jared looked at him curiously, wondering if it was a good thing or not.  
  
Understanding the unspoken question, Jensen explained. "She was my best friend, Jay. Always there, practically raising me." He sniffed. "She died when I was 15. It was hard. You remind me of her, in more ways than just using that name."  
  
"Yeah? So that's a good thing?"  
  
"The best thing," Jensen admitted, hugging Jared one last time before he got out of the car.  
  
He left Jared emotionally stirred. Something had happened during that weekend, not only with Jared, but also with Jensen, and that made the young tailor unbelievably happy and excited.  
  
***  
  
Weeks passed. Spring slowly turned into summer, and just like the roses in Jared's backyard grew, their friendship grew. Sometimes, Jensen joined Jared and his buddies on Friday nights, other times it was Jared who went out with Jensen and his buddies, cheering  _Kane_ on their gigs. More often than not though, the two of them just met, mostly during the weekends, because both were busy. Then they'd go to the cinema or some bar, playing pool, or having a barbecue on Jared's patio.  
  
The closer they got, the more Jensen confided in Jared, and the more Jared learned about his friend, about his family and his childhood. Once, Jensen had even trusted him with the knowledge that, years ago, he had a huge fall out with his dad and that they barely talked nowadays and only saw each other on Christmas, which was an awkward as hell procedure every year. But what the fall out had been about, Jensen didn't tell and Jared didn't ask. Something else Jensen still hadn't mentioned was how he came to be getting engaged to the Harris heiress. He still avoided the few questions Jared had dared to ask, telling Jared flatly that he didn't want to talk about it, and this didn’t help to lessen Jared’s impression that something was damn odd there.  
  
****

**  
5**

  
  
It was near the end of July when the truth finally came out. Like every year, Jared was closing his tailoring shop for the whole month of August, having planned a vacation trip to Asia with his siblings, and he was busy finishing all his orders, hating to have unfinished business lying around.  
  
Top priority was Jensen's wedding suit. It should have been finished weeks ago, but in May Martin had handed in his notice, leaving two weeks later, and ever since, Jared had been busy trying to finish the more urgent orders in time. Now though, he wanted to have it done, and he was close. His masterpiece, as he secretly called it, just needing a few finishing touches.  
  
***  
  
Like in the past weeks, Jensen’s final fitting was scheduled for late Friday afternoon. It was easier for Jensen to leave his office on time, and, after the fitting, Jared and Jensen had used their free time to hang out.  
  
With a very satisfied approval, Jared looked at his work. It really was a masterpiece – top quality material and his own workmanship – and it would look even better on Jensen's godly body. Chris, who couldn't come today because he had a gig in Austin, had seen the suit yesterday, and had hugged Jared, saying that the money spent was well worth it. Mentioning that, Jared had offered not to charge him anything for his work, just for the material, but Chris had refused, calling him nuts, insisting that he had earned the money rightfully and fairly with the great work.  
  
"Hey man," Jared called when Jensen finally entered his shop, pulling him into a quick hug. Ever since their first hug back in his car, hugging Jensen had become one of his favorite pastimes. Whenever he did it, it made Jensen laugh, and like always he said, "Dude, it's not like you haven't seen me for ages," returning the hug equally fondly nevertheless.  
  
"Thank God, I haven't." Now that the business part of their relationship was over, Jared was a little worried, hoping that they could keep their friendship alive, especially after the wedding, when the older man would become a Harris-in-law and, hence, be a very important figure. The thought of losing Jensen just after he had found him tightened his chest, and he must have looked weird, because Jensen squeezed his shoulder gently.  
  
"Don't you think you can get rid of me now that your job is done. You wormed your way into my heart." Jensen smiled. "Now you're stuck with me."  
  
Warmth and relief spread through Jared and he couldn't help it when he pulled his friend into another bear hug. "Good, Jen. That's good. I'd hate to lose you. But enough of this chick-flick talk now," he added once he noticed Jensen's slightly awkward expression, "let's get you into your wedding suit, boy."  
  
Gently, Jared shoved Jensen towards the big fitting cabin at the end of the room where he had already laid out the clothes. While Jensen changed, he went to his office, which was much brighter than the shop, pouring two glasses of champagne to celebrate the successful completion.  
  
"Wow," Jared breathed out when Jensen finally stepped into his office, and he couldn't tell if it was because Jensen looked so unbelievably good in the suit or because the suit was one fine piece of craftsmanship. Or maybe it was both, everything fitting perfectly, suiting Jensen so well.  
  
Gently, he led his friend to the mirror and he just watched Jensen look at himself from all angles, a little smile playing around his lips.  
  
"Wow." Jensen admired himself. "This is wonderful, Jay. And I look so... respectable."  
  
"You are respectable," Jared said, stepping behind him, placing his hands on Jensen's hips. It was an intimate gesture and he just hoped that it was okay, and that Jensen didn't mind.  
  
He didn't. His smile widened and he leaned into the touch, into the warmth of Jared's body, closing his eyes for a few moments. "Thank you," Jensen whispered, and it was clear that it was for much more than a wedding suit that Jensen didn't want, but rather for how close they had grown in the last months.  
  
"You're welcome, man," Jared said, pulling Jensen a little closer, wrapping his arms around him from behind. "You'll be the most handsome groom the world has ever seen, Jen."  
  
The moment he had said it, Jared knew that he shouldn't have. Jensen's smile disappeared, and was replaced by a frown and, much to Jared's horror, his friend's eyes were suddenly flooded with tears. He felt the tremors running through Jensen's body, and even before he could react, holding him tighter in the safe circle of his arms, Jensen had broken free.  
  
"Jen?" Jared asked, his own voice shaking, unsure what he should do, or what was going on.  
  
"Don't," the older man stammered. "I'm sorry, I, um, need to go."  
  
And without throwing another glance at Jared, Jensen ran out of his shop, like a thousand demons were behind him.  
  
Before Jared could even react, following Jensen, he heard the most gruesome noises ever: A car honking, tires screeching, people yelling in panic. An ice-cold hand grabbed Jared's heart when the most gruesome foreboding image came to his mind and, as he ran outside, he suddenly remembered a dream of his from a while ago where Jensen had disappeared into darkness and he couldn't follow.  
  
The heat of the summer day hit Jared when he stumbled out of his shop but what hit him so much harder was the sight on the street – several cars had stopped, people looking in confusion, a young girl who had probably just gotten her driver’s license crying, and a motionless body in a fine suit lying on the dusty ground.  
  
"Jensen!!" Jared screamed, long legs carrying him to his friend as quickly as the wind. Face pressed against the warm asphalt, Jensen was lying on the ground, motionless and, for all Jared could tell, not breathing either. "Jensen?" he said, more gently this time. "Somebody call 911!!" he yelled, gently stroking his hand over Jensen's head.  _Please, don't let him be dead_ , Jared prayed.  
  
"I'm okay." He could finally hear Jensen's voice, though it sounded weak and raspy, like he was short of air.  
  
A gigantic boulder rolled off Jared's shoulder as relief washed over him. "Let the doc decide that, man."  
  
"No, I'm good." Jensen tried to move but Jared held him back, his hand a warm presence on Jensen's back. "I don’t think she hit me. I just fell. Just feel a little dizzy."  
  
"Please, Jen," Jared said. "Let yourself get checked. I'll follow you to the hospital as soon as I lock down the shop."  
  
Jensen groaned miserably. "The shop... Jay, I ruined your suit." Tears were swimming in Jensen's eyes, and the sadness was audible in his chocked voice.  
  
"Hey," Jared gently combed his handthrough Jensen's hair, grateful when he could hear the ambulance's siren in the distance. "It's just a suit. I'll make you a new one, my friend."  
  
Two minutes later, Jared watched his friend being checked and strapped onto a gurney. He stayed with Jensen until he vanished in the ambulance, and only when he watched it disappear into the distance did Jared notice that he was not the only one who had a tear-stained face.  
  
**  
  
Jensen had been right. Apart from a few scratches on his knees and hands and the shock of the event, he was okay. Not so much okay was the suit, but when Jared pulled his friend into his arms, he didn't mind that the work of months had been ruined in a second. All he cared for was that the person who wore it was alright.  
  
"You scared the shit out of me, Jen," Jared said with relief, not even thinking when he gently brushed his fingers over his friend's neck.  
  
"I'm sorry,” Jensen said weakly. "That was a stupid thing to do."  
  
"It's okay. You're okay and that's the only thing that matters."  
  
"Mr Ackles." A doctor stepped closer. "You can go home now, but it'd be better if you had somewhere to go to. You shouldn't be home alone."  
  
"He can come with me," Jared offered. "If that's okay, Jensen?"  
  
"Sure." Jensen's face betrayed his words. He was looking uncomfortable at the prospect of going with Jared. He probably feared that Jared would demand some sort of explanation at last, and Jensen was right; what happened today had been the straw that had finally broken the camel's back. Jared wanted to know what was going on and he was determined to find it out.  
  
"Good," the doctor said, handing Jensen the papers to sign. "Come back if you feel worse, have a strong headache, dizziness, or nausea. But I really hope you won't need it. Good luck."

  
***  
  
Not one word was spoken during the ride home, and for the time being, that was fine with Jared. He wouldn't wait forever, but the shock and fear was still too fresh and all he wanted to do was tuck Jensen in, making sure that he was safely wrapped into a blanket in his spare bed room, sleeping off the shock.  
  
He did just that when they arrived at his place, listening attentively to Jensen taking a shower, too scared that he might slip or lose consciousness, then cleaning and redressing the wounds like the nurse had shown him, and finally tucking him in. He made sure that Jensen had everything, from the pills the doctor had given him to a bottle of water, and when everything was perfect, he sat down next to Jensen on the king size bed, and let the dialogue of some stupid movie playing wash over him, calming him further down.  
  
"Are you tired, Jen? You must be, with what happened, the long day at work, and the shock."  
  
"Nah, I'm fine."  
  
"Are you comfortable, Jen? Do you have everything you need?"  
  
"I have everything you can give me, Jay," he said, sounding strangely odd.  
  
Jared thought this was a strange comment, and he had to bite his lip before he said something cheesy like, _I'd give you anything you wish for_ . "Good. Still, you should get some shut eye. Call me if you need me, okay? Don't hesitate, I'm here."

He kissed his forehead, wishing Jensen a good night, hoping he really would have one.  
  
**  
  
Jared wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping when a pitying scream woke him up in the middle of the night. Without hesitation, he rushed out of his bedroom and over to Jensen's room where he found the older man sobbing into his pillow.  
  
"Hey, Jen," Jared said gently as he approached his friend, crawling into his bed. "It's okay. Everything's okay."  
  
"It isn't," Jensen moaned. "Nothing's okay."  
  
"Come here, Jen." Gently, Jared pulled him into his arms, smiling when Jensen clung onto him. "Just tell me what's going on."  
  
"I can't," Jensen sniffed. "It's a secret. If I do, something bad is going to happen."  
  
For a while, Jared didn't say anything, just thought about Jensen's words and what they might mean. Suddenly, a thought hit him. It made him uncomfortable but he had to know it. "Jen? Are you or your family being threatened? Is somebody forcing you to do things you don't want to do?"  
  
The shudder running through his friend's body was answer enough. "Shhh. It's okay. You should tell me. Lighten your burden. Then we can both decide what to do."  
  
"Don't you understand?!" Jensen sobbed, pulling away. "I can't. You must know that there are things you just can't tell somebody else."  
  
Thinking about his own secret, Jared knew what his friend meant. But sooner or later, Jared also knew, the burden became too heavy and you just needed to share it. "Let me show you something, Jen," he said, having made a decision. He crawled out of the bed, and returned to his bedroom. Ever since he had met the real Jensen, Jared hadn't looked at his drawings, but he could find them blindly, the folder safely kept in a box in his closet.  
  
"This is my secret," Jared explained when he returned, handing Jensen the folder. "Keep an open mind," he prompted, "when you look at them. But promise me not to freak out."

Jensen looked even more distraught but, nonetheless, he opened the folder, taking a sharp, surprised breath when he looked at a perfectly accurate drawing of himself at the age of 13. More drawings followed, drawings of Jensen slowly growing up. Sometimes it was just his face, other times it was a whole body picture – drawings of Jensen on a horse or in swimming trunks or of him climbing a tree.  
  
"What is this devilry?" Jensen asked, and it was clear that he was close to a panic, that everything inside him screamed, wanted him to run away and never look back. Jared knew, that was the risk he had taken by finally telling his friend.  
  
"If you stay, Jen, I'll explain. And I know that it seems scary, but I promise," he pressed his hand against his heart to underscore how genuinely he meant it, "that nothing bad will happen to you. My intentions are good, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Jensen slowly said, still staring in disbelief at the last drawing of him.  
  
"When I was seven or eight years old, I started to having these dreams. Dreams about some guy crossing my path randomly, you know, at the pool or the beach, at school or at the movies. First it was just this, but when I got older, that guy sort of became my friend, and later... he became my lover, Jensen. I always could draw well, so eventually, I drew pictures of him, the way I dreamed of him." Jared moistened his lips, chancing a look at his friend, scared at how he would react when he finally understood everything. Jared wasn't disappointed as Jensen's eyes grew bigger when he got it. "The guy I dreamed about, still dream about, Jensen, is you."  
  
"I... I need to go," Jensen stammered in shock.  
  
"No, please, don't," Jared said, though not holding him down, hoping that Jensen still trusted him enough to stay. "I spent half my life looking for you, Jensen. My parents, and Chad, they called me nuts and delusional, but I always believed that the guy I dreamed of was out there somewhere, and when you stepped into my tailoring shop, I was proven right. That was why I disappeared that first time. The shock was just too big."  
  
"So, it was all a lie? Our friendship?" Jensen's voice was heavy with tears. "You just wanted to seduce me?"  
  
There was no reason to deny it. If he wanted Jensen to trust him, he only could gain it with being completely honest. "At first, yeah. My dream had come true and I wanted to have you. It lasted for maybe two weeks, Jen. But then when we met at that bar, when you stumbled into me, I asked you to join me because, crazy dreams aside, I started to like you. You were so different from the person I had dreamed of and that was intriguing. Even if I had never seen you before, dream or not, I'd have fallen for you. So there you have it." Jared sighed. "My biggest secret.”

Heavy silence ensued Jared’s revelation, with Jensen’s eyes still fixed on the beautiful pencil drawing of his younger face. When the awkward tension became unbearable, Jared added sadly,."I’d love to be your friend, Jensen. But if we can’t stay friends, then I will take you home whenever you want, and I promise I won’t stalk you and you will never have to see me again. Do you want me to take you home?" He swallowed hard, fearing the answer.

For a long time, Jensen didn't answer. Jared felt worse with every passing minute, fearing that he had really lost his friend for good now.

"No," Jensen said eventually. "I don’t think I want to."

Jared let out a relieved breath. "What do you want then, Jen?" he asked, willing to give his friend anything just to make him believe that he could trust him.

Ignoring Jared’s question, Jensen said instead, "What you just told me... it’s extraordinary. Things like this... there aren’t things like this, Jared. It’s crazy. Overwhelming."

"I know it is. Nevertheless, you have the proof in your hands, Jen."

"Yeah... They’re beautiful, Jay. Some of these drawings really happened. For years I went horseback riding, and my gran had that tree house in her orchard. I know it’s a lot to ask, but can I keep them?"

It was a lot to ask. Those drawings were Jared’s dreams. But he would do anything for Jensen, and so he didn’t really think about it. "Sure. Keep them."

Jensen smiled. "Thank you," he breathed out. "I think I should catch some sleep now, Jay."

"Yeah, you should." Jared got up, feeling strangely sad and heading towards the door. He wasn’t sure where their friendship was standing now, but at least, Jensen hadn’t fled. It was probably more than he deserved.

"Jared," Jensen said when Jared was almost out of the door. "I’m sorry. I can’t tell you my secret. But thanks for sharing yours."

Jared turned around, smiling woefully at his friend. "That’s okay, Jen. Sleep well."

**

The alarm clock on his nightstand slowly tick-tocked the time away, reminding Jared every second that sleep was out of question. He felt horrible. He should have comforted his friend. Instead, Jared had laid the creepy knowledge of his dreams upon Jensen, troubling him even more. It probably hadn’t been the best timing to tell Jensen, but was there even a perfect timing to reveal a secret like that, especially to the only other person it concerned? Jared didn’t know, but he doubted it. No matter when Jared would’ve told Jensen, awkwardness and mistrust would have always been the result, and rightly so.

His train of thought ran away, tumbling from one problem to the next, but in the end, Jared always came back to Jensen, to their friendship, to his feelings for him and to the many secrets that surrounded him. Would he ever find out?

A soft knock and his door being opened tentatively pulled Jared back to reality. His rough outline only to be guessed, dark against an even denser blackness, Jensen stood in the doorway. Hesitant step after hesitant step, he came closer, and eventually, the moonlight shimmering through the curtains illuminated his friend’s face enough for Jared to see. He looked pained and even paler than usual in the silver light.

Currents of worry ran through Jared when he saw his friend’s grimace. "Jen? Are you sick? Do you need a doctor?"

Deliberately, Jensen shook his head. "I changed my mind."

Jared felt his heart sink. "You want me to take you home?"

"No, Jared. I want to tell you my secret." Jensen’s voice quivered.

"Sure. If you want to."

"No, I don’t want to. But I need to. I see that now.

"I’m here for you," Jared promised. "Tell me."

Quietly, Jensen sat down on the edge of Jared’s bed. "There are just three conditions."

"Okay," Jared agreed.

"The light stays out. I can’t tell you if you see my face. You don’t interrupt me, and... I’m cold, so I’d very much like to sneak into your bed, if that’s okay with you."

It made Jared smile. Even though Jensen now knew that he had fallen for him, he didn’t mind Jared’s closeness. "That’s more than okay with me." Sliding to the left side of the mattress, Jared lifted the cover just enough for his friend to crawl beneath it. He heard, more than he saw, Jensen making himself comfortable, snuggling into pillows and blanket, staring at the ceiling when he had found the best position.

"I don’t really know where to start," Jensen started eventually. "It’s so complicated."

"Then start with the beginning, or the easiest to explain, Jensen, with the most important things. Everything else will come on its own."

"Yeah... okay," Jensen agreed thoughtfully, but it took him a little longer to begin to tell his tale. "I’m gay, Jared."

Jared took in a sharp, surprised gasp because, honestly, he had never expected that. It made Jensen chuckle. "Did you really believe, after everything you dreamed about me, you’d be mistaken about my sexuality?" Not expecting an answer and not getting one, because Jared was still too overwhelmed with a dozen thoughts and feelings whirling through his mind, Jensen continued, "I found out when I was fifteen. I was so confused, not really understanding what was wrong with me. Gran was a great help. Anyways, just a few months later, my father found out, overhearing a call between me and her. You can’t imagine how furious he was. He beat the crap out of me, and if Mom hadn’t come... who knows, he might have killed me." Jensen swallowed audibly, obviously overwhelmed by the memories still haunting him. "I had a terrible time afterward, not only because of what happened, but also because of Gran dying."

In an urge to comfort Jensen, Jared reached out to squeeze his shoulder. Shaking his head, not able to bear any touch at the moment, Jensen gently but determinedly took Jared’s hand away. Maybe he needed to feel some pain right now. "For almost three years, my father completely ignored me, only speaking of me as "the fag". Then, one day during my last year of high school, he came to my room. He told me of a deal he had made. Jonathan Harris was paying for my education at Harvard. In return, I was to marry his daughter."

"Jen." The shocked cry just escaped Jared, even though he had bit his lips hard to repress any unwelcome comment.

"That’s the short story," Jensen said, "but I admit, it doesn’t do it justice. It doesn’t explain everything and I’m sure you wonder why I agreed."

"Yeah."

"I didn’t have much choice, Jared." Jensen sighed heavily. "I think I have to go back a bit further to explain. When my father was born, the Ackles’ were wealthy, and he was their only son and heir. He went to Harvard University where he met Jonathan Harris where they became really good friends at once. My father’s parents died in his sophomore year, just a few months before I was born. I was an accident, my mom never being Alan’s big love, but he felt responsible and back then he was respectable, so he married her. Anyways, he had this huge amount of money and property all over the States. He became greedy, investing his money in some weird projects, losing most of it within a couple of years. When my sister was born five years later, not much of the Ackles’ fortune was left but our place in Dallas, two expensive cars, and a bit of money."

For a while Jensen was silent, taking deep breaths, collecting his thoughts. "My father couldn’t handle it. He started to drink, and when he had drunken too much, he beat my mom," Jensen confided in Jared with a trembling voice. "It was cleverly done, because he always beat her where no one could see the evidence and never hard enough for her to be admitted to a hospital. She should have left him, back then, but Mom... She’s never learned anything, had been a barmaid when they met in Boston, and she was dependent on him."

Jared could see Jensen shaking his head in pity.

"What she did though, was send me and my baby sister away to her mom. We more or less grew up there, only spending some weeks a year at home - whenever Alan returned from another, quite unsuccessful, rehab. Sooner than later, he started drinking again. He didn’t have many friends, but he and Jonathan had stayed in touch. It’s weird, because after what Jonathan told me, he had offered Alan a job at Harris Industries more than once, but my father always turned it down. Maybe he wanted to prove that he could do it on his own." Jensen laughed, but there wasn’t any humor in it. "Though so far, he hasn’t managed," he said dryly.

"Jen, I’m..."

"No, don’t." Jensen cut Jared off before the older man had even really started to say much. "I don’t need your pity. I know that’s how you are, but I really don’t want you feeling sorry for me. And apart from that," Jensen said before Jared could object, "you promised to not interrupt me, man."

Jared nodded because, yeah, he had agreed on Jensen’s terms and like nothing had happened, the older man continued his story. "To date, I don’t really know why Alan told Jonathan about me being gay, being so horribly ashamed of my abnormality," he spit the words out, "that he treated me like poisonous air, but he did. And well, he learned that Danneel was a lesbian and, for Jonathan, this was as shameful and, other than for my dad, a real problem. Pretty little Danneel was his gem, heiress of his fortune and, of course, Jonathan wanted to have a bunch of grandkids to continue with the family honor and business."

"You being gay was the best thing happened to Harris," Jared finally realized, forgetting his promise in his excitement when the truth slowly sank in.

"Yeah. A perfect beard, especially because my father owed Jonathan, though so far, I don’t know why. So they made a deal. Alan paid his debt and even got something he hadn’t dreamed of - a place at Harvard for his son. And here, you must know the funny thing. While my father despised me, he still loved to boast, and while we were almost bankrupt, no one really knew, my parents never having sold the property. So the neighbors expected Alan Ackles’ eldest son go to Harvard, and when Jonathan offered to pay, it was perfect."

Jared hummed understandingly though couldn’t help but wonder why Jensen had agreed to take the deal. Sure, Harvard was a high class university, but Jensen, having the grades he had had, surely would have gotten scholarships for almost any college in the States.

"When my father first told me this, I refused. Not even beating me up once again and breaking my elbow could change my mind. But then," Jensen swallowed hard and added, "he threatened to do the same to Mackenzie; selling her to some rich old perverted acquaintance. And I couldn’t allow that. Now I’m bound to my promise, Jared. I don’t love Danneel, I’m not attracted by her in the least, and don’t even know her that well, but there is nothing I can do but marry her in eight weeks. And now I don’t even have a suit anymore. Fuck!"

"You worry about not having a suit when you’re forced to marry a woman you don’t love?" Jared muttered under his breath, shaking his head in disbelieve. "I don’t believe it, Jen."

"Gallows humor, Jay," Jensen sighed.

"You won’t need a suit," Jared said with determination.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Because you won’t marry that girl."

Jensen smiled sadly. "That’s not up to you to decide, man. Not even up to me. Danneel and I, we don’t have a choice here."

Slowly, Jensen’s words sank in.  _Rubbish_ , Jared thought. There was always a choice, especially when things had a touch of illegality, like this deal had. "I’ll think up something," Jared promised. "But before that, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. No secrets left."

"Why are you living in that..."

"Rat hole?"

"Yeah. You must earn well enough at  _Harris Industries_ to live in a better place ."

"I do. Very well. But I support my mom and sister, Jay. She isn’t as lucky as I am, and that’s the least I can do. And honestly, it is but a small sacrifice, living in that neighborhood, not wearing the latest fashions, and setting aside having a car and vacations. She’s away from Alan, and that’s worth all the money in the world."

"You’re a great big brother, Jensen. Mackenzie can be very happy to have you." When Jared reached out this time, Jensen didn’t shake his warm hand off, allowing his friend to give him some support and comfort. "There’s something else," Jared said when he had regretfully pulled his hand away. "Would your dad really flog your sister? And what about Danneel? Doesn’t she have anything to say about this?"

"Yes and no. My dad would do anything for money; he’s ruthless. And Danneel... she hates it, Jared, and she hates me, for agreeing to this. She has a girlfriend, some chick from France or Belgium called Genevieve, and they’ve been together for years. It’s her she wants, not me. I don’t blame her. But Danneel, she has to please daddy if she ever wants to become head of  _Harris Industries_ , which she wants. She’s worked hard for it in the past decade. She’s as much a victim as I am, but unlike me, she let herself be blackmailed into this."

Jared cursed under his breath. This really was huge, but he had promised Jensen to think about something and he wanted to keep his promise.

"Anything else you want to know? Because, as right as you were about feeling better, Jay, I’m tired and my head is aching a little.” Jared looked at him with concern. “Don’t worry," Jensen added, laughing a little, "it’s not worse than back at the hospital. But I think I should go to bed."

"Yeah. Sure. You could stay, you know." Jared offered when Jensen got up. "I wouldn’t mind."

Jared could already guess the answer as a little sad smile ghosted over Jensen's lips. "Me neither. But I can’t. Giving in to what I want and wish for, Jay, is not a good idea when I’ll be getting married in eight weeks. It’d just break our hearts, and you deserve so much better than that."

With a gently whispered "Good Night, Jay," Jensen was gone, leaving Jared behind with a lot to think about.

He didn’t find any rest that night.

**

Jared wasn't surprised when he found Jensen was gone in the next morning. He had almost expected him to, after the things the older man had confided in him, and the weird things he had said just before he left Jared’s room. It had almost sounded like Jensen had feelings for Jared but didn't dare to give in because of the screwed up situation he was in.  
  
Jared's heart beat like a blacksmith's hammer against his chest when he realized that he had his life's joy within his grasp. Then, panic overpowered his high once Jared also realized that he might very well have not only lost that chance but also his friend.

His vibrating cell luckily saved him from freaking out.  
  
It was a message from Jensen.  _Sorry 4 leaving like that. Need time 2 think. Enjoy Asia. See u?_   
  
Quickly, Jared's fingers danced over the smooth surface of his cell. _It's okay, I understand. See u soon._   


  
**6**

  
  
Jared didn't really enjoy Asia. The people were friendly, the landscape was breathtaking, and the weather hot and humid, but wherever he went, Jensen went with him in his thoughts. He had promised to help him. He didn't want Jensen to marry a girl he didn't like and who hated him, but time was running out, and even though a few vague ideas had hit him, Jared was far from sure if Jensen would get away with any of them. Besides, Jared really missed his friend. He still dreamed of him from time to time, but the man of his dreams was now only a dull, colorless doppelganger compared to the original Jared had learned to love in the past weeks.  
  
"JT?" his sister asked him, pulling him out of his thoughts. Only now did Jared notice that he had totally zoned out, not having eaten a bite of his food, moving the delicious smelling chicken from one side of the bowl to the other.  
  
"Yeah. Sorry. I was thinking."  
  
"Really? Wow, I never would have noticed." She deadpanned. "Listen. I know you're thinking about Jensen all the time and those things he told you. And while I don't have a clue what it's about, I see that it's troubling you. You aren't yourself. You were looking forward to this trip so much and now that we're here, you don't even notice any of the beauty. So, go home, JT, and win your boy's heart. Or help him however you can."  
  
"But," Jared stammered, "I can't possibly leave you here alone."  
  
She threw him a punishing look. "Jeff and I can take very good care of ourselves, thank you very much."  
  
"But, we wanted to do it together, the three of us," Jared objected.  
  
"Yeah. We wanted. But this includes all of you. Not just your body, JT, but also your heart and soul and mind. You're not really with us, so you should drag that gigantic body of yours back home and fight for your boy."  
  
***  
  
Jared did drag his body back home to San Antonio, three weeks earlier than he had planned. He felt bad for leaving his siblings back in Asia, but Jeff, who had been shopping when Megan had talked to Jared, had agreed, and barely 24 hours later, Jared had found himself on a plane back to the States.  
  
Jetlagged and sweaty, Jared arrived at the airport where Chad thankfully picked him up.  
  
"You really got it bad," Chad noted while driving him home. “Canceling half of your super expensive vacation for that guy."  
  
"He's worth it, Chad," Jared replied tiredly. "He needs help."  
  
"You still can't tell me what's going on?"  
  
Jared sighed, having been through this discussion more than half a dozen times before. "Nah. It's his secret, Chad. He could only tell me in the darkness, he didn't want me to touch him, or to console him. I can't tell you what's wrong. But he needs help because he can't do this on his own."  
  
"He's a weak wuss, then," Chad bitched under his breath.  
  
"Don't call him that," Jared said passionately. "He's stronger than you and me put together, Chad. He thinks he doesn't have a choice, and from his point of view, I get it. He needs support and friends, man, not people who judge him."  
  
Chad looked affronted by his friend's words. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. He's a nice enough guy. Need help?" he offered after a few moments of thinking it through.  
  
"I might."  
  
"Just call me and I'll be there."

***  
  
The first thing Jared did after he had slept off his jetlag was drive over to Jensen's. He wasn't even sure if his friend was home - he could very well have gone to Dallas to visit his folks. But for what he was planning, he thought that a direct approach was much better than calling or texting Jensen, so driving there with the risk of missing Jensen was worth it.  
  
The front door to the apartment building was open and Jared climbed the stairs, hoping that Jensen was there. He knocked loudly, and for what seemed like eons to Jared, he didn't hear anything, until finally, he heard feet shuffling over the floor on the other side, some muttering and a surprised cry when Jensen looked through the spy hole.  
  
"Jay!” Jensen cried as he opened the door. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be somewhere in Asia?"  
  
"Hello to you, too." Jared smiled, stepping into the apartment without being invited. "And, yeah, I should be. But some things are more important than vacations, and you not getting married to Danneel is at the top of the list."  
  
Jensen's face tightened into a sad mask. "Jay... You shouldn't... There's nothing you can do. Deal's a deal. You should go."  
  
"Do you really want that, Jen? Marry a girl you don't love and who hates you? Live a life in a golden cage just because your dad decided so? We're living in the States, in the 21 st century, man. We're free to do what we want to do. Do you want to do  _that_ ?"  
  
Jensen's lips trembled. "You know I don't, Jay," he sobbed. "But I don't know what to do."  
  
"But I do," Jared said, drawing Jensen into his arms, holding him like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"A hug won't make it go away." Jared felt a tear touching his neck and he held Jensen just a little tighter.  
  
"No, it won't. But it's a start."  
  
*  
  
"So, what's your plan?" Jensen asked flatly. It was clear that he doubted that he'd ever get out of the deal, but at least Jensen was willing to listen and that was better than nothing.  
  
"You need to fraternize with Danneel." Jensen's eyes widened. "Together, you have to persuade Jonathan that you two can't be getting married."  
  
Jensen shook his head. "It'll never work."  
  
"Sure it will. Especially if you have sort of …blackmail material. I'm quite sure he has some skeletons in the closet. You could also tell him that you're selling your story to the media. Something like that."  
  
"I'm not sure, Jared," Jensen stammered. "He's an important, powerful man."  
  
"Don't be scared, Jen," Jared squeezed his friend's hand. "He doesn't seem the type of guy who assassinates people."  
  
Jensen shook his head. "Nah, he isn't. But he could ruin me. I'd never find a job again. And even if it worked, what about my family? Mom and Mackenzie? How can I protect them?"  
  
Jared smiled knowingly. "Well, for the job thing, I was actually thinking about expanding my tailoring business, you know. Maybe a shop in Austin or Houston, or both. I could need a business economist, if you want to take on the risk. And I have a plan for your mom and sister, too. My family has a holiday home in Montana. Your dad would never find them there. My dad's a lawyer, he'd help your mom with the divorce, and my aunt owns a shop up there and is always looking for employees."  
  
Mouth wide opened, Jensen stared. "Wow," he stuttered, totally overwhelmed. "Don't know what to say. I can't believe that you put so much effort in me." It was obvious how touched Jensen was. "I don't deserve this."  
  
"Sure you do, Jen. So, what do you say? Can we give it a try?"  
  
Slowly, Jensen nodded.  
  
"Great! Then tell me about Jonathan Harris’ skeletons in his closet."  
  
*  
  
Half an hour later, Jared's head was buzzing with information, having found out a good deal about the industrial magnate. For one thing, Gino wasn't his son, which was the reason why the guy hated Jensen so much. He hated him because Jonathan liked Jensen better and, most of all, Gino would only get his share of the family fortune if Danneel and Jensen didn’t marry and have kids. The other things were what you'd almost expect with guys like him – several affairs, some shady deals, and tax frauds. Jensen didn't have proof for the latter but he had always listened to the gossip between his workmates and he was sure, if he just dug a little deeper while doing his job was, he'd find proof.  
  
"That’s enough blackmail material." Jared nodded with satisfaction. "So, um, call Danneel. Ask her to meet you at a neutral place, preferably some hotel room."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Sure now. Time's running out here, Jen. You need her help."  
  
"What if she refuses to talk to me?"  
  
"Then tell her that you've found a way out of your misery."  
  
**  
  
Danneel was a beautiful woman, even Jared could see that. Tall, with a perfect figure, auburn hair and a beautiful smile. She was dressed in perfectly fitting, expensive clothes, wearing lots of even more expensive jewelry, and looked like some In Style model or something. Jared was certain that a lot of men envied his friend for the match Jensen had made. If only they knew.  
  
Frowning, Danneel was impatiently playing with one of her bracelets, looking at Jensen like he had three heads with horns, and Jared had the impression that the temperature in the room had dropped several degrees. But he didn't intend to let her dishearten them.  
  
Ignoring her deathly look, Jared introduced himself and told her what this was all about.  
  
She listened attentively, didn't interrupt Jared once, and her face was a mask as neutral as Switzerland.  
  
"You're hot for Jensen," was the first thing Danneel said when Jared had finished.  
  
He blushed, but didn't deny it. "Yeah."  
  
"And you Jensen? Did you fall for him, too?"  
  
Jared held his breath, his heart hammering excitedly about his chest. He hoped he knew the answer, but he couldn't be sure.  
  
Blushing, Jensen nodded and Jared's heart swelled with love and happiness.  
  
Surprisingly, Danneel smiled. "Good. You know, Jensen, if things had been different, I'm sure we might have become friends. I know that I treated you unfairly, like shit, but I always thought you were doing it because of the money, and to please my dad. I didn't have a clue that your dad forced you, like my dad forced me."  
  
"We're in the same boat here, Danneel," Jensen said. "So, do you want to fight?"  
  
"Yeah." Danneel smiled. "Let's kick the old man's ass."

**

Jared was euphoric when they left the hotel a couple of hours later, the plan they had concoct clever, hopefully leading to success. He wanted to pull Jensen into his arms and kiss him stupid, but when Jared stepped into his space, Jensen shook his head, and smiled sadly. "No, Jay, please don't. If I start to kiss you now, I'm not sure I can ever stop, and if the plan doesn't work out, I'll be more heartbroken than ever."  
  
Pouting, Jared wanted to argue but a part of him understood. "We still could, you know, be together," he reasoned, looking at Jensen hopefully.  
  
"Yeah, we could. But I could never ask it of you. If I marry Danneel, I have to fulfill my duties, Jared. I have to sleep with her. It'd feel like cheating on you and I just can't."  
  
"You-," Jared started, but Jensen cut him off with a severe look.  
  
"Don't, Jay. I just can't do that to you. Can you please take me home now?"  
  
"Sure." Jared sighed, fighting hard to not show how disappointed he was, fixing his eyes on the pavement as he hurried towards his car.  
  
"I know it's not fair," Jensen said, like he could read his friend's mind, cursing the world, "but if this works out, Jared, we can kiss and date until the end of time. And if it doesn't work out, I hope you will stay my friend."  
  
Sadness and happiness, desperation and hope flooded Jared and he swallowed hard when he felt tears stinging in his eyes. “I'll always stay your friend."  
  
It was Jensen who reached out, taking Jared's trembling hand in his own, squeezing it gently before he laced his fingers with Jared's. Warmth and a pleasant tingle ran through Jared's hand, but the gentleness in the gesture also stabbed his heart painfully. It was true what they said; sometimes, love hurt. But as Jared drove his car through the streets of San Antonio, feeling Jensen's hand in his own, he thought that, if this was the only thing Jensen could give him, he'd die a happy man.  


  
**7**

  
  
Jared drove Jensen to the Harris' estate outside of San Antonio where they met up with Danneel in front of the property's huge iron gates. He couldn't come with them, but at least Jared was as close by as possible to his friend for the outcome, whether they were celebrating or crying.  
  
Time passed by at a snail’s pace as he impatiently paced around his car, feeling suspicious glances stabbing him whenever the expensive cars of the residents from the neighborhood passed by. He tried to read, only to put the book away after a couple of pages, and the songs on the radio sounded stupid and brought him on the edge of freaking out.  
  
His savior was Chad, who called him and was entertaining him until, finally, after more than an hour, Jensen and Danneel stepped out of the iron gates. Jensen's expression was unreadable, but it was obvious that the young woman had been crying.  
  
Jared hung up and watched Jensen hug Danneel, kissing her cheek. She got into her brand new Porsche and, as still as a stone statue, Jensen watched her drive away. Only when her car vanished into the distance did Jensen slowly come closer, getting into the car.  
  
The tears started streaming down the moment Jensen sat down, looking into Jared's hopeful face, which fell when he saw his friend weep. He suddenly shivered, feeling cold despite the hot summer air.  _That was it,_ Jared thought.  _Say goodbye to the love of your life_ . Desperation washed over him but if he felt like that, how must Jensen feel now that he had to marry that girl?  
  
"Jen, I'm..."  
  
"He let us out." Jensen sniffed but there was a beautiful smile behind the tears. "There won't be a wedding."  
  
Jared's heart jumped with happiness and he swept Jensen into his arms. He felt his own eyes leaking as Jensen sobbed into his shirt, babbling incomprehensible thanks into his chest. "Shh, it's okay. It's over now, Jen."  
  
It took a while before Jensen calmed down, enough to let go, and he smiled at Jared, looking adorable even though his eyes were red and his cheeks were swollen. Gently, Jared brushed his fingers over his face, wiping the last tears away before he pulled Jensen's face closer. He did it slowly, giving his friend all the chances to pull back if he didn't want this, but those green, still moist eyes just locked with his and when their lips touched, Jared felt Jensen smile into the kiss.  
  
At first, it was tentative, very much like first kisses should be in Jared's fairy-tale imagination – a gentle touch, slowly deepening, lips tasting, tongues carefully feeling. Jensen tasted of coffee and mint chocolate, and his lips were eager, hungry and deft, but still soft and gentle. Then, after taking a breath, the kiss changed, became hotter, showed not only affection but also sexual tension, sparks flying between them, moans and sighs sounding throughout the car.

It was a million times better and hotter than anything Jared had ever dreamed about, simply because it was real.  
  
"The things you do to me," Jared groaned into the kiss, gasping pleasantly when Jensen gently bit into his lip, sucking it further into his mouth.  
  
"Just wait and see," Jensen said with a deep, guttural voice, "what else I can do to you, Jay."  
  
"Mmmm," the younger man sighed in anticipation, "Can't wait to find out."  
  
"Now?" Jensen suggested, looking at Jared with eyes blown wide with lust.  
  
It was tempting, but for their first time, Jared didn't want to rush it. He wanted to worship his lover's body exactly like he had always done in his dreams, and Jared told Jensen so.  
  
"Such a sap, Jay," Jensen murmured as he gently stroked his hand over Jared's jeans covered crotch, sending hot currents of pleasure running through Jared just because of that simple touch.  
  
"Yeah, I think I am." Jared smiled, suddenly becoming uncommonly serious. "For the longest time, while I was looking for you, Jen, I refused to, well, have sex. I waited until college because, yeah, by then I became frustrated. But it was never love, only just a satisfaction of lust. Now, as I have found you, Jen, I want more. Can you give it to me?"  
  
"I'll give you everything," Jensen promised. "And the sooner you start that engine, the sooner I can start showing you."  
  
"Sounds good." Jared caught Jensen's lip in a last kiss, his hands gently brushing over his bare arms.  
  
**  
  
Whenever Jared stopped at a red traffic light, Jensen pulled him into a kiss. He felt like a teenager being in love for the first time and he loved it. In a way, Jared thought, he was, because he definitely was in love for the first time, and unlike those faceless strangers, Jensen meant something to him.  
  
Other than kissing, they didn't do anything on their ride back to Jared's. He was dying to hear what had happened at the Harris estate, wanted to know how far Jensen and Danneel had to go, but it was the result that counted, and celebrating it was the most important thing right now.  
  
Finally, Jared drove his car into his garage, and before Jensen could even protest, Jared had pulled him out of the car, picked him up, and carried him over the threshold and into his place. Laughing and shrieking, Jensen struggled with his legs, and Jared only let him go when Jensen started to beat his fists against his back playfully. He demanded another kiss for compensation and then Jared curled his hand around Jensen's wrist, pulling him upstairs and right into his bedroom.  
  
"Here we are," Jared announced the obvious, pushing Jensen towards the bed. The older man's face was flushed, his lips kiss swollen, and he looked adorable, with the tight clothes that hugged his body in all the right places and the bulge inside his pants telling Jared that someone was really happy.  
  
Paying for what he was going to do with a kiss, Jared ripped the shirt off the man's body, revealing a tanned torso with brown, erect nipples, and skin sprinkled with freckles wherever Jared looked. "Mmm," Jared sighed appreciatively, letting his hands roam over Jensen’s chest and abs, feeling the warm, smooth skin and the finest hairs beneath his fingers.  
  
Then it was Jensen's turn to rip off Jared's shirt. This game went on until all of their clothes were gone and they were standing in front of each other in their birthday suits, with leaking cocks curling towards their stomachs, and their chests heavily rising and falling.  
  
For a while, Jared just admired his lover’s body, scarred here and there because of what Jensen's father had done to him but still perfect in Jared's eyes. When he had finally taken it all in, he tugged Jensen to his bed, placing him on the mattress, and repeating what his fingers had started, he began mapping that gorgeous body with his mouth.  
  
Sweet pleading sounds escaped Jensen's lips whenever Jared touched him in a particular sensitive spot, and when Jared had finally reached his goal down south, and he finally combed his fingers through the pubic hair and handled Jensen's cock with his lips, the older man was lost. He whimpered constantly, begging Jared for release, cursing him when he just laughed, teasing his balls and member. But then, when Jensen was close to his climax, Jared finally wrapped his lips around it, sucking hungrily while his fingers circled around Jensen's tight entrance.  
  
With a scream, Jensen came. Jared took it all in, like his semen was the most precious liquid of all, and for Jared it was the most exhilarating thing he'd ever experienced. It was simply paradise.  
  
"Wow," Jensen stammered. "That was..."  
  
"Awesome?"  
  
Jensen laughed. "Someone's very confident here," he teased Jared, but when he saw the younger man's exaggerated pout he kissed him softly. "It was more than awesome. If I'd known what you could do to me, I would have taken you in front of the Harris estate without thinking twice."  
  
Jared sighed regretfully. "Lucky me you found out now, huh?"  
  
"Yeah. Lucky you. Lucky me. Lucky us."  
  
**  
  
"You hungry?" Jensen asked the obvious, the angry growl of Jared's stomach still booming in his ears. "I thought I had satisfied you well enough."  
  
"Oh, you did, Jen, you did." Jared laughed, his body still tingling, his tight tunnel still aching after Jensen had conquered it with deft fingers and a cock so swollen that Jared almost feared Jensen would tear him in two. "But some things even you can't satisfy, and my hungry belly is one of those things." Gently, Jared let his hand run over his lover's back, kissing some random spots of skin before he sighed and got up to order them some pizza.  
  
Five minutes later he returned with a bottle of water, and handed it to Jensen, who took it gratefully, taking deep, thirsty gulps. "Pizza will be here in 20."  
  
"Mmm," Jensen acknowledged. "Enough time for round three. Or are you too tired, old man?"  
  
"Old man?" Jared lunged at Jensen. "Who's the old man here, huh?" Long, deft fingers danced over Jensen's skin, tickling him everywhere as he gasped and cried and laughed until he was breathless.  
  
"Now we lost five minutes," Jensen pouted, throwing Jared a punishing look.  
  
"We have all the time in the world," Jared said, drawing Jensen into his arms. "If it's okay, I'd just like to hold you for a bit."  
  
"Mmm, Princess." Jensen smiled happily, snuggling closer, burying his forehead against Jared's chest. "That doesn't sound too bad."  
  
Jared brushed his fingers over Jensen's skin in lazy strokes, humming blissfully when Jensen did the same, his fingers ghosting over his heated skin, and his lips kissing his chest.

He really was in paradise.  
  
**  
  
"You want to tell me what happened?" Jared asked when the pizza was devoured down to the last crumb. He emptied his coke with a last, thirsty gulp, and carrying the pizza boxes and cutlery back into his kitchen, he gave Jensen time to collect his thoughts.  
  
"Back in bed," Jensen called from the living room and when Jared stepped out of the kitchen and into his hallway, the older man met him there.  
  
"It was easier than Danneel and I expected," Jensen started once they had made themselves comfortable in Jared's bed, the taller man spooning Jensen, hand spread widely above his heart. "She mainly talked. She told him that we both don't want to be getting married, for obvious reasons. First, Jonathan wasn't impressed. But then I told him what Alan did, Jay. Beating me. Selling me. Forcing me. Threatening me." Jensen breathed heavily. "To say that he was horrified is an understatement. He didn't have a clue, Jay. He said that he always thought that I was marrying Danneel freely because of Harvard and the money she'd bring into the marriage. At least, that's what my father must have told him. We didn't even have to blackmail him." Jensen sounded relieved.  
  
Jared let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "That's good, Jen. What happens now?"  
  
Jensen shrugged. "Not much. There won't be a wedding. Jonathan will release some kind of official statement about a breakup and, well, Danneel decided to come out and marry her girlfriend."  
  
"And your job?"  
  
"It’s safe. Jonathan knows what I can do. But I nevertheless handed in my notice and will leave  _Harris Industries_ at the end of the year. I told him I was planning to work for my boyfriend."  
  
Happiness overwhelmed Jared. Not only because Jensen had called him boyfriend, but also because he was willing to give up a well-paying job at a top company for a risky project. "Yeah? What did he say?"  
  
"He said that he'd like to meet you because he needs a suit for a charity gala." Jensen laughed and Jared joined in, relieved that everything had worked out so well, and that he even got a new customer out of it.  
  
"What about your dad, Jensen?" Jared asked eventually.  
  
"Nothing, Jared. He died for me a long, long time ago. Mom and Mac are on their way to Montana. The guy isn't family any longer."  
  
"I'm sorry, Jen," Jared said softly and held him a little tighter, "that you had to go through all that, that you never really had a dad, like me."  
  
"Mmm," Jensen sighed thoughtfully. "My childhood wasn't all bad, you know. It only started after Alan found out that I was gay. And even then, Mom and Mac were always there. And now... I have you. It's more than I could have ever wish for. You know, at first I was scared when I found out about those dreams of yours. But now, I'm glad you dreamed of me."  
  
"And I'm glad too. For Chris dragging you into my tailoring shop. Even for your dad forcing you to marry Danneel. Otherwise, Jen, we wouldn't have met."  
  
"Maybe we would, maybe we wouldn't have," Jensen said dreamily. "We will never know. So stop worrying that pretty head of yours and do something better with your energy… something that might involve your downstairs brain," Jensen added sassily.

"Sounds very good to me," Jared agreed, kissing Jensen’s earlobe as his hand slid down his lovers torso until his fingers finally buried themselves in raw pubic hair. As Jared gently stroked his fingers over Jensen’s cock, feeling it grow in his hand and listened to those little puffs of pleasure the older man breathed out, he realized that his dream finally had come true.

**Epilogue**

Being really satisfied with himself, Jared proudly looked at the suit, his secret work of the past few weeks. The dark gray material of the pants and jacket was smooth and shiny, top quality and heavenly to wear. The shirt was ivory silk, light and soft. Most beautiful, though, was the tie – green like his eyes.  
  
Smiling, Jared opened a little velvety box, taking the shiny golden ring from it. He looked at the inscription. “Sap” he scolded himself under his breath before he let the ring slide into the jacket's small pocket.  
  
Then, quite carefully, Jared put the clothes in a huge gift box, adorning it with a silky red tie and one single, dark red rose.  
  
"Looking good," Jared said to himself as he took the box, ready to leave his shop behind for the day, heading towards his real paradise.  
  
***  
  
Their house was dark and silent except for one room on the first floor where light was shimmering through the gap in the door, and Jared could hear the steady click-clack of the keyboard where Jensen was working like a maniac, like he always did. After the first week of their business cooperation, Jared had understood why Jonathan Harris had wanted to keep Jensen, broken deal or not, because, yeah, Jensen  _was_ good; innovative, but cost-conscious, charming and fair. Within less than three months, they had opened a store in Austin, which had done well in its first year, and now the opening of another shop in Dallas was scheduled in two weeks.  
  
They were doing well, in all aspects of their lives.  
  
"Baby?" Jared called after he had taken off his shoes and had sneaked into the living-room where he had put the gift box on the coffee table and had prepared a few things. "I'm home."  
  
He headed towards the office and slipped through the half-opened door, being welcomed by a mocking, "Took you long enough."  
  
"Sorry hon," Jared purred, "had something very important to do." Now standing behind his boyfriend, Jared let his one hand comb through Jensen's hair while the other slowly crept over his shoulder and chest.  
  
"Mmm," Jensen sighed. He loved being touched like that. "Can you tell me what this very important thing was?"  
  
"I might. But only if you call it a day, Jen. You work too much." He leaned down, wrapped his arms around Jensen from behind and kissed his cheek.  
  
"I could do that." Jensen saved the document he had been working on and shut the computer down before he collected a few papers, and put them into a folder. "What?" Jensen asked when he noticed that Jared watched him attentively.  
  
The younger man laughed. "I like watching you work. It's sexy." It was true. No matter what Jensen did, even if it were the most mundane things like shutting down the computer or putting documents away, Jensen did it with all his heart and Jared loved that he was so passionate about his job.  
  
"Dude, it's filing," Jensen called out, "how can that be sexy?"  
  
Jared laughed, opening his arms. "Then it must be the guy who does the filing."  
  
Shaking his head in amusement, Jensen finally got up, and moved over to his boyfriend, not complaining at all when Jared wrapped his open arms around him.  
  
"Missed you," Jared sighed before he kissed Jensen gently. He did miss him. Every hour without Jensen was a bad hour, but being with him again made every day a good day.  
  
"Me too," Jensen whispered into the kiss.  
  
They were looking for bigger premises, for some place where they could all work together, but with the Dallas opening, they had been busy and suitable places were hard to find. So, even if they were working together, the men barely saw each other during the day.  
  
"Let's go to the living-room," Jared prompted, tugging his boyfriend out of the office. "I've got something for you."  
  
"Really?" Jensen answered, not able to hide the curiosity in that simple question. "A surprise?"  
  
"Hopefully."  
  
They stepped into the living room and Jensen's eyes widened when he saw the huge box, the candle Jared had lit, and the two glasses, filled with sparkling champagne. "Jay... Is there something to celebrate?"  
  
"I hope so." Feeling suddenly a little self-conscious, Jared smiled shyly. They had been dating for almost two years now, and every single day had been perfect, even when they had had one of their rare tiffs. Nevertheless, Jared wasn't sure what Jensen would say about tying the knot. They'd never talked about it, and after the almost fake marriage to Danneel, Jared wasn't really sure if Jensen even believed in marriage at all. But it was worth a try, wasn't it? "Open it, Jen."  
  
Like a kid on Christmas, Jensen took the huge, unhandy box, carefully taking the rose from it, looking at it for a very long time. After he had gently put it on the table, Jensen reverently pulled on the red bow and opened the box, gasping in pleasant shock when its contents were finally revealed. "Jay," he stuttered, "is this what I think it is?"  
  
"What do you think it is, Jen?"  
  
"A suit. For a special occasion." Jared didn't miss how Jensen emphasized "special". Was his gift so obvious?  
  
"Yeah. You know I want you to be well-dressed for the opening in Dallas." Jared smiled. The Dallas opening was special, and Jared wanted to keep his boyfriend in suspense a little longer, until the older man had found the ring and really understood. "Try it on, will you? Need to know if it fits you well."  
  
"It will." Jensen said with determination but, nevertheless, he carefully took all the clothes out of the box before he stripped off his tee and jeans.  
  
Feeling his mouth water, Jared couldn't take his eyes off his boyfriend. It was delicious, watching Jensen taking off his clothes, and it was even better to see the result of his efforts worn upon skin tanned from their vacation in Argentina, his body making the suit a masterpiece.  
  
Jared watched Jensen as he finished trying on the suit, because he was still an artist and he wanted to see his work on him. He had done well, Jared noticed, when Jensen buttoned up the shirt. Like always, it was top work. But other than that, there was something else. The suit had been made with love, hope and well-wishes stitched into it, and Jared was sure it could been seen.  
  
"It's beautiful," Jensen said when he was finally standing in front of Jared, the younger man helping him with the tie.  
  
"Nah, you are," Jared said. "It just underlines what you are, Jen."  
  
The older man smiled. "Thank you, Jay." He kissed Jared, his hand gently trailing over Jared's cheek.  
  
It was little gestures like these that made those butterflies in Jared's bellies flutter around excitedly and warmth spread throughout his veins. It was things like these which told Jared that Jensen and he were something special, that their relationship was so much more than lust and sex. "You're welcome, baby." Jared smiled broadly, happy that his boyfriend liked the suit so much.  
  
Jensen stepped back a little to look at the suit more closely. Fingers touched and eyes skidded over the cloth appreciatively when he finally noticed the almost invisible bulge in the front pocket. Furrowing his brow questioningly, Jensen poked his finger into it, and his eyes widened when he felt the smooth, cool surface and the form, suddenly realizing what it was.  
  
He pulled it out, looking at the shiny ring in wonder, like he had never seen anything like this before, and when he read the inscription – Jared's promise to Jensen – Jensen started to tremble as emotions of pure happiness washed over him.  
  
Seeing Jensen like that, so stunned, so overwhelmed, made Jared's heart almost burst with joy and he stepped closer to his husband to be, taking his hands in his own, the ring now between their palms. "Jen," Jared proposed with a shaking voice, "I have loved you even before I knew you, and when I got to know you, I was lost. I'm always yours." He repeated the promise that was carved into the golden ring. "Now I ask you to be mine. Please marry me, Jen."  
  
Jensen had never been one for tears, only crying a handful of times in the years of their friendship, but as Jared waited for his reply, a lonely tear trailed down his cheek. "I'm yours, Jay, and I'd love to marry you."

  
"Yes!" Jared cried happily. Gently, he opened Jensen's hands, and took the ring, slipping it onto Jensen's finger. His normally so steady hands were shaking and he had some problems to slide it over the knuckles but, when it was done, the ring fit Jensen perfectly, just like the suit.  
  
They kissed, gently but passionately. Fingers danced over their bodies and happy little sighs and whimpers sounded throughout the room. Lips quivered and tongues tasted, doing exactly what their partners loved the most. Paradise, Jared thought, this was paradise.  
  
Gasping for air, they eventually let go, taking deep breaths as their foreheads touched and their fingers twined.  
  
"Let's drink the champagne and then let’s have some dinner," Jared said after he had calmed down a little, though his heart still beat happily. "I booked us a table at  _Sergio's_ ."  
  
A regretful sigh on his lips, Jensen let go of Jared's hands to take the glasses. "To us," he toasted as he handed Jared his glass. "May we live happily ever after."  
  
Jared smiled. "We will, Jensen, we will."  
  
It was a promise he never intended to break.  
  
***

Slightly tipsy and giggling about the most ridiculous things, Jared and Jensen stumbled back into their house, their bellies well fed with Italian food and their heads buzzing with alcohol. They took off their shoes, with Jensen leaning heavily against the wall, and Jared couldn’t repress the urge to press his boyfriend harder against it, kissing Jensen sloppily. Tasting herbs, garlic and red wine, he hungrily licked the remains from Jensen’s lips and gums until all he tasted was nothing but his boyfriend.

"God, Jen," he gasped into the kiss, gently nibbling at Jensen’s lips while his hands were roaming over the older man’s body, slipping beneath the waistband of his pants and boxers. They came to rest just inches away from Jensen’s growing dick, gently brushing through the pubic hair.

"Mmmm," Jensen cried, clawing his fingers into Jared’s mane. "More," he begged, whimpering a little.

"More you get," Jared promised, kissing Jensen short and hard before curling his hand around his wrist, impatiently tugging him down the hallway and up the stairs.

So differently than two years ago, when they so reverently had stripped each other off, taking their time, their clothes were now gone in less than a minute. The urge to bind their vow with more than words and kisses was too big to waste time on worshiping, something they could do for the rest of their lives. Now, they wanted, needed, to become one, and sooner than Jared could say "lube", it found its way into the younger man’s hand.

With deft strokes, Jared prepared his fiance. His fingers knew exactly what they had to do, where to press to work Jensen open, all the while making it a blissful experience for him. Needy moans told Jared that he was doing it right, and as currents of pleasure tingled through Jared, he joined his boyfriend’s song, whimpering almost incomprehensible pleas. Once in a while, Jared scattered kisses over Jensen’s thighs, his tongue moving over heated skin, and when it had been enough to make him hard as stone, Jared let Jensen prepare him.

Jensen’s fingers were deft, massaging the lube into Jared’s throbbing member, quick but still gentle. He kissed Jared before he leaned back into the pillows, his eyes already blown wide with want and lust. After a last stroke of Jared’s fingers, just to make sure that Jensen was still widened and slick, the leaking tip of his cock brushed against the older man’s ring of muscles, asking for entrance, and receiving it with a whimpered, "Do it already."

Both men gasped when Jared penetrated Jensen, not from pain, but in pleasure, the feeling of warmth and tightness, of intimacy and closeness, simply mind-blowing. Jared thrust forward, his hands a tight grip around his boyfriend’s thighs, Jensen’s own slightly scratching over Jared’s chest. It hurt a little, like the pressure against his dick in Jensen’s tight, dark tunnel but it was a welcomed pain, a pain that made him feel more alive.

Again and again, Jared moved back and forward, riding gently, feeling Jensen's body shaking like his own. When he was just moments away from his climax, Jared did what he had always done; he grabbed Jensen’s hand, almost crushing it when he came, and let his load fill up his boyfriend while his cry filled the air.

Jensen was still painfully hard, his erect cock proudly poking Jared's belly and, even before the younger man had recovered from his own climax completely, he stroked, kissed, licked and sucked Jensen to his. With satisfaction, he watched Jensen come in his mouth, swallowing all that he could of the bitter drops, and massaging everything else into his skin.

"Gross," Jensen complained without being able to hide his loving smile. It wasn’t that Jared never did this and the best part of it, apart from tasting himself when he licked Jared clean, was the shower or bath they always shared afterward.

"You love it," Jared leaned over to Jensen, purring into his ear, nibbling on it gently before he kissed his fiance, and Jensen greedily licked his own come away from Jared’s lips.

"Mmm. I love,.." He looked teasingly at Jared and kissing the tip of Jared’s nose, added "…you."

Whenever Jensen professed his love to him, Jared’s heart jumped with happiness, and today was no exception, everything inside him tingling as the meaning sunk in. That man, that beautiful, strong, extraordinary man, loved him. He took the hand that was now adorned with the engagement ring into his own, kissing it softly. "Love you, too."

Snuggling unbelievably close, Jared blanketed the smaller man with all of his body, wanting to feel what he could of that beautiful man who was now his. They stayed like this for a long time, breathing in unison, their bodies entangled like they were one life-form, not two individuals.

Only after a long time, when both were almost dozing off and their gentle caresses got lazier, did Jared murmur something about a "bath" before he got up to let the tub fill with hot water. It would take a while until it was filled, and when Jared returned to their bedroom, he watched Jensen, in all his naked glory, sprawled on the bed.

"What?" Jensen asked dreamily when he felt Jared’s eyes resting on his body.

"I just realized how happy I am, having you, loving you. That you love me back. That we’re going to get married. It’s the greatest gift of all, Jen."

Jensen was dumbstruck. It was funny with Jared. He could be so goofy and stupid, but then again, he said the most beautiful, touching things. "Come here, baby." Longingly, Jensen reached out his hand, smiling when Jared was close enough to take it. "Hold me?"

Jared crawled close, holding Jensen tightly, taking in their mingled scents, listening to every beat of his boyfriend’s heart, watching the rise and fall of Jensen’s chest.

He really was in paradise. Life was good.

**The End**


End file.
